I don't know if it has been writer's block, or how crazy life has been, or lack of readership, but I haven't blogged in forever. Most of you who have read my blog know, I'm pretty random with subject matter and consistency. So this time I'm not making any promises. I find that when I do, I feel pressure. When it comes to writing I don't do well under pressure. Probably because I like writing and sharing, pressure takes the fun out of it. One of my close friends said to me sometimes you just need to write what is going on in your head, it is a way to solidify your ideas and make them more real. It is like I'm telling the world and confirming to myself how I feel and what I believe about things. Being myself.
So June 4th, was the last time I wrote. At that time, I had begun a study on the fruits of the Holy Spirit inspired by what my children were learning in their Children's Ministry at church. I'll strive to continue that study because I believe it is important to finish and I was inspired after all.
Tonight, however, I'm going to fill everyone in on my life the last four months. I'm going to hit just a couple things because after 4 months my mind has so many thoughts and ideas built up, I can't possibly do all of it justice in one night.
At the beginning of this year, technically on December 31st, I lost my job. I had worked for the company for 7 years even to the point where I was commuting 45 minutes to get there after we had moved farther away. I had grown to love the people and love the work. Although things at the job were not perfect, I was truly hurt when I lost the job. Now to keep from sounding unprofessional, please understand that I know that it wasn't personal, but after all that time and the camaraderie I had developed with my coworkers, it was very sad for me. I get attached to things I care about, its probably why I hold on so tightly. (I just admitted I can be clingy...eek)
The next 6 months were both wonderful and difficult all at the same time. For the first time since I turned 16, the first time since I had children I was not working (excluding maternity leave of course). The change in family life was unbelievable. I had so much time with everyone, I didn't have to request days off, or worry about not being able to do certain things. I could have girls nights with my friends and I could have date nights with my husband. I could literally drop everything and go with no worry about a job. It was great being able to just be with my kids, at times it was really trying because work to a certain degree was a break from home. After the initial adjustment there was a huge part of me that didn't want to go back to work.
Then the bills came, reality hit me pretty hard. As much as I loved being home, it didn't take long for us to realize that unemployment wasn't going to cut it and a difficult tenant situation was costing us more then it was supporting us. It is crazy how in this day and age being a stay at home mom is a difficult thing to do. Not to say that it is bad or beneath me or anything like that. In a financial sense, it has become almost unrealistic, unless your husband makes a lot of money. Now I do understand that good budgeting and cutting coupons etc can help to keep costs down, but let's be honest, when you have 3 or more children who has time for that? (Okay this is me talking from a purely bad time management standpoint). Also as homeowners, car payment holders, and still trying to get out of debt, tax payers the needs are there. In a perfect world I'm sure these things would not exist but in mine, they do.
So here I was looking for jobs. I went to restaurants all over looking for a job that I was qualified for and nothing came of it. Never had I been able to sympathize with the unemployed but now I totally got it. It was so difficult to get a job. Then came the point when it all changed. I simply prayed, Lord I need a job or else. It wasn't like a challenge to God to prove Himself. It was a desperate plea saying Lord you know what's up, so can you do something? So often I'm afraid to pray like that. I assume God already knows and why should I remind Him. Yet, at that point there was a true desperate plea. Similar to how the Israelites were when they were crying out for a saviour. God you have to do something. I know He already knows that but it was a point when I had to say I need a breakthrough. Nothing is happening, I can't make anything happen. Only You can.
So I picked myself up and kept looking. I kept putting the resumes in. Then there was a breakthrough. A new restaurant was opening and I was basically at a place where I had nothing else to lose. I applied and literally 2 hours after I sent the email I got a call from the manager. It was about a month of nail-biting and waiting but when I finally got the call that I had the job I literally jumped up and down like a little girl. It wasn't about being validated or needing a job to feel worth something. It wasn't about getting away from my kids. It was ultimately about the provision of God and His timeliness. It was about lessons learned over 6 months and a season to appreciate all that I had. It was a time to realize that He truly gives and takes away.
Over those six months, after every rejection and every job that fell through, people would say "There is something better down the road." I have to be honest, that got super annoying after a while. Mainly because it was really hard for me to believe. Now that I've been at my new job for two months I realize that all of those people were right. They were right because God always promotes to better. It might not always seem better in the moment but it is. I had barely any income for 6 months and I had to go through that trial to realize that when God's timing is right, that He certainly does elevate us.
Anyway this is me returning to writing. Its time to be myself and let walls down. To share my life and not clam up when it gets hard. Please read and be encouraged. Even if you don't want to that's okay. I'm going to be here in one way or another.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Fruit Study: I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (Galatians 5:22 NIV)
Joy. So often confused with happiness.
Let's face it, everyone in this world is obsessed with happiness. What's going to make me happy? How can I feel good? So the search for it goes on. People strive for money, relationships, and things. Ultimately, all of the things in life can't solidify happiness in one's soul. Happiness is a feeling, it comes and goes. Some things make us feel happy and some things make us feel sad, but the feeling doesn't last. Joy does. If you know Jesus Christ and are filled with the Holy Spirit joy is available for you. It's not just a temporary feeling, it's a deep, powerful fruit that keeps us going through thick and thin, good and bad. Joy is something that the Bible talks a lot about so here are some great verses that explain joy better than I can.
1. Joy comes from knowing Jesus and obeying Him.
2. Joy replaces despair. Happiness can make you feel good for a moment but joy is what replaces sadness, hopelessness, fear, and destruction that we often face in our lives.
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30:11, 12 NIV)
3. Joy brings true worship!
4. Joy is available in trying times!
The difference I find between joy that comes as a fruit of the Spirit and temporal happiness is that Joy is always available to us. No matter what's going on. If we are filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit we will know and understand the joy of The Lord. But if we walk in the flesh and walk in our own way we are constantly going to be bipolar Christians. Feeling happy sometimes but not understanding where true joy comes from. Our feelings will dictate to us our circumstances and not the joy that comes from our salvation and our Lord! Sometimes we lose our joy because we are in the flesh or we have sinned against God and all it takes is for us to get right with Him.
5. Joy of our Salvation
It's a simple prayer. Being right with God makes our joy complete! Living in the spirit sustains it!
6. Joy comes from thanksgiving!
Joy. So often confused with happiness.
Let's face it, everyone in this world is obsessed with happiness. What's going to make me happy? How can I feel good? So the search for it goes on. People strive for money, relationships, and things. Ultimately, all of the things in life can't solidify happiness in one's soul. Happiness is a feeling, it comes and goes. Some things make us feel happy and some things make us feel sad, but the feeling doesn't last. Joy does. If you know Jesus Christ and are filled with the Holy Spirit joy is available for you. It's not just a temporary feeling, it's a deep, powerful fruit that keeps us going through thick and thin, good and bad. Joy is something that the Bible talks a lot about so here are some great verses that explain joy better than I can.
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:10, 11 NIV)
1. Joy comes from knowing Jesus and obeying Him.
Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. (Psalm 119:111 NIV)
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30:11, 12 NIV)
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:19 NIV)
The difference I find between joy that comes as a fruit of the Spirit and temporal happiness is that Joy is always available to us. No matter what's going on. If we are filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit we will know and understand the joy of The Lord. But if we walk in the flesh and walk in our own way we are constantly going to be bipolar Christians. Feeling happy sometimes but not understanding where true joy comes from. Our feelings will dictate to us our circumstances and not the joy that comes from our salvation and our Lord! Sometimes we lose our joy because we are in the flesh or we have sinned against God and all it takes is for us to get right with Him.
5. Joy of our Salvation
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:12 NIV)
6. Joy comes from thanksgiving!
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
When right now seems difficult and time seems tough sometimes joy will rise when we simply think about all He's done for us. Then allow thanksgiving to come out of our very souls. Joy is available to you today! Your life by the world's standards might not be perfect, it might not be "happy" but you can have all the joy you can handle if you just tap into the Holy Spirit and allow Him to fill you up!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Fruit Study: What's Love Got To Do With It
So last week, I did a short introduction to this Bible Study. I want to open up discussion, to open the Word of God, and to find what it means to live in the Spirit. Lets start by looking at the Scripture we are studying. Galations 5:19-26
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 2o Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
We live in a world that is pretty well described in the first three verses of this passage. Its pretty easy to identify these different "flesh acts" in our world today. Sometimes, its overwhelming because its feels like everywhere we turn one of these is on display. So what is the alternative?
We have been called out of the world. As soon as you commit yourself to Jesus you become aware of your spirit. Rebirth. It was once dead but now has come alive with the knowledge of Jesus and the truth of Salvation. So the battle begins, you are still flesh, you are still human. Now, having been reborn you start a process to be transformed every day. You see, you are no longer apart of the group described in the first 3 verses. You have been redeemed.
It's fitting that Love is the first fruit on the list. Let's be honest, love is nonexistent these days. Not real love anyway. The divorce rate, combined with child neglect, selfishness and the list goes on is proof that we live in a cold world. Love comes at a price with most people. If it or they don't make me happy then I'm out. I'm not just talking about relationships here people, I'm talking about overall attitude and culture. Love is not about what we do for others anymore or show others anymore, its about what makes us happy.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. :
Matthew 24:12
This pretty much describes the current state of affairs we find ourselves in. Let's really quickly refer to 1 Corinthians 13. What love really is.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Love is the beginning. It is the first fruit because out of it flows everything. Love doesn't think about itself, ever. It is NEVER about you.
Now when the Word talks about fruit it is describing an outward evidence of what the Holy Spirit is doing in you. Love like this isn't something that comes naturally. Humans of course have an enormous ability to love and give love. Often our desire to satisfy ourselves trumps the potential in us to give unconditional love.God created in us this ability to love like this. So doesn't it make sense that knowing Him and being filled with His Holy Spirit is the only way to show the its fullness in our lives?
So there is the missing link. Know God, know love.
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:7-10
Often, we use Jesus' ultimate sacrifice to describe the fullness of love. We need to be living sacrifices, choosing to know God everyday. Allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us to love at all times.
The world often tells you to take care of yourself, love yourself, make sure you are okay first. In reality shouldn't we be allowing God to take care of us, to love us, to make sure we are okay? Shouldn't we trust Him to keep us? If we do that I think we can start understanding how to produce love. Allow the Holy Spirit to confront the areas in your life where you may be putting yourself first. Allow yourself to know God in a way that will help you understand what love really is and how to produce it in your life.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Something New
For the next couple weeks I'm going to try something new. I love God and I love the Bible. I love to observe my world. I love to apply the word of God to the reality of the world around me. So for the next several weeks I'm going to do a series. I am simply going to compare the fruits of the spirit to the fruits of the world. I encourage you to follow me and invite others to follow me as well. I want to do this study and show readers that there are pretty clear differences.
What has brought this on is an observation of the clear choices people have to make on a daily basis in their lives. I have choices to make every moment. Choices to make in my attitudes, in my actions, and in my habits. I have the opportunity to make life altering choices every moment and I want to make the right ones. So today I'm going to leave you with the introduction to the passage we will be looking at.
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. Galatians 5:16,17
Stay tuned because next week we are discussing LOVE! That's the first one. I'm really excited about it.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Hungry and Thirsty
Today, I was thinking about how it feels when I don't spend time reading the Bible or Praying. It gave me my idea for this weeks blog.
You see, there was a time in my life where I could go without reading the Bible and praying. GASP! I know, it seems kind of crazy to say. It started in Bible college where I was so immersed in Bible study, and chapel services that I found it easy to put personal time with God on the back burner. I got out of the habit and then struggled with it for years after. I was constantly praying and asking God to forgive me for not praying and not reading. It had become legalistic in my mind and I felt guilty about it a lot. I made up all kinds of excuses. I have no time. I'm to tired or to busy. At the end of the day, I would feel so guilty and have no desire to even try to spend time with God.
I began to feel really far away, really empty. I knew why, but I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I was never going to get it right. I would say I was going to do it and be good for a couple weeks. Then my schedule would throw me off and then I was back where I started. I was frustrated and feeling guilty.
Then something changed. I'll explain in a moment, but first I want to say that I just started really simple. I got an iphone. What does that have to do with a devotional and prayer life you ask? Well, I got a Bible app on my phone and it would remind me to read my Bible everyday. It was like an electronic accountability partner. My phone would beep at me and I would be reminded. I didn't do it everyday at first, but over time I began to feel it when I hadn't done it. I felt...hungry.
The emptiness that I had for the years that I had neglected to make time for the Lord was being filled. My malnourished soul was day by day being replenished. I was hearing from God, I was learning more about Him. All alone, I had formed opinions about God and what He thought of me based on partial knowledge, not the truth of His word. He was showing me who He really was and opening my eyes to see truth. The crazy part was, I had allowed myself to become anorexic in my relationship with God. When I started to read His word consistently and pray I did it in small amounts. Almost like a baby drinking milk. I was at the beginning again.
Today, my Bible app still helps me, but rarely do I go a day without spending time with God. The reason why is because I literally feel hungry and thirsty. I'll get to the end of my day and if I haven't read or prayed, I feel it. It comes down to this. It is about connecting with God himself. When I was young, I had deep meaningful experiences with God that solidified my hope and my faith in His truth. Those experiences were like a really expensive meal that I couldn't possibly pay for everyday. Example, when Bill and I were on our honeymoon, we had a 5 course meal at a very expensive restaurant. I mean like 100 dollars a plate, harp player in the background, Bill had to wear a suit jacket, and me an evening dress. It was no joke. There is no way we could have paid for a meal like that every day. It's the same with God, He gives us amazing once in a lifetime experiences with Him but that doesn't keep us connected. We have to eat everyday. We have to drink everyday.
There is no special formula and in truth, I started by taking 5 minutes a day. Now I can't go a day without thinking about it. I can't go a day without feeling my need for God. I can't go a day without praying. I used to think I could go a day without and maybe I could, but the key to my devotional life now is, I don't want to go a day without Him. I want to know Him more, know His word, and know His spirit is with me when I pray.
I challenge those who take time to read my blog, if there is anything you can do for yourself, for your walk with God it's take the time for Him. It doesn't matter where you start, it doesn't matter how you failed in the past, there is no right way. Its just a choice to get that app, pick up that Bible, or go to that Bible study. Your soul needs Him, you are hungry and thirsty. Feed your self!
John 4:13,14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst."
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.
*If you don't know where to start on your spiritual diet I suggest reading plans on your Bible app. Often it's the 'Where do I begin' question that stumps us.
You see, there was a time in my life where I could go without reading the Bible and praying. GASP! I know, it seems kind of crazy to say. It started in Bible college where I was so immersed in Bible study, and chapel services that I found it easy to put personal time with God on the back burner. I got out of the habit and then struggled with it for years after. I was constantly praying and asking God to forgive me for not praying and not reading. It had become legalistic in my mind and I felt guilty about it a lot. I made up all kinds of excuses. I have no time. I'm to tired or to busy. At the end of the day, I would feel so guilty and have no desire to even try to spend time with God.
I began to feel really far away, really empty. I knew why, but I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I was never going to get it right. I would say I was going to do it and be good for a couple weeks. Then my schedule would throw me off and then I was back where I started. I was frustrated and feeling guilty.
Then something changed. I'll explain in a moment, but first I want to say that I just started really simple. I got an iphone. What does that have to do with a devotional and prayer life you ask? Well, I got a Bible app on my phone and it would remind me to read my Bible everyday. It was like an electronic accountability partner. My phone would beep at me and I would be reminded. I didn't do it everyday at first, but over time I began to feel it when I hadn't done it. I felt...hungry.
The emptiness that I had for the years that I had neglected to make time for the Lord was being filled. My malnourished soul was day by day being replenished. I was hearing from God, I was learning more about Him. All alone, I had formed opinions about God and what He thought of me based on partial knowledge, not the truth of His word. He was showing me who He really was and opening my eyes to see truth. The crazy part was, I had allowed myself to become anorexic in my relationship with God. When I started to read His word consistently and pray I did it in small amounts. Almost like a baby drinking milk. I was at the beginning again.
Today, my Bible app still helps me, but rarely do I go a day without spending time with God. The reason why is because I literally feel hungry and thirsty. I'll get to the end of my day and if I haven't read or prayed, I feel it. It comes down to this. It is about connecting with God himself. When I was young, I had deep meaningful experiences with God that solidified my hope and my faith in His truth. Those experiences were like a really expensive meal that I couldn't possibly pay for everyday. Example, when Bill and I were on our honeymoon, we had a 5 course meal at a very expensive restaurant. I mean like 100 dollars a plate, harp player in the background, Bill had to wear a suit jacket, and me an evening dress. It was no joke. There is no way we could have paid for a meal like that every day. It's the same with God, He gives us amazing once in a lifetime experiences with Him but that doesn't keep us connected. We have to eat everyday. We have to drink everyday.
There is no special formula and in truth, I started by taking 5 minutes a day. Now I can't go a day without thinking about it. I can't go a day without feeling my need for God. I can't go a day without praying. I used to think I could go a day without and maybe I could, but the key to my devotional life now is, I don't want to go a day without Him. I want to know Him more, know His word, and know His spirit is with me when I pray.
I challenge those who take time to read my blog, if there is anything you can do for yourself, for your walk with God it's take the time for Him. It doesn't matter where you start, it doesn't matter how you failed in the past, there is no right way. Its just a choice to get that app, pick up that Bible, or go to that Bible study. Your soul needs Him, you are hungry and thirsty. Feed your self!
John 4:13,14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst."
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.
*If you don't know where to start on your spiritual diet I suggest reading plans on your Bible app. Often it's the 'Where do I begin' question that stumps us.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Testimony Turmoil
I was born into a Pastor's home. My parents loved me. They strived to show me who Jesus was and to teach me how to follow Him. I was 7 years old when I gave my heart to Jesus. That is when I really remember the change that God made in my life. Although, I may have excepted Him sooner, I remember being 7 and responding to an altar call when an evangelist visited our church. From that time on, although I was just a child, I was always hungry for God. My life was embroiled in all things church. I was literally there whenever the doors were open. I was in girls programs, choirs, and church plays. I loved it. I learned to play the piano very young and started lessons when I was 5 years old. I loved to sing and worship God. As I grew older, I had many experiences that solidified my faith and relationship with God. I went to a girls ministry retreat or a Powette (that's what they called it in the 80's) and there I was filled with the Holy Spirit. My heart was always open to God. I always wanted to do right. The fledgling teen years came upon me and my family made a pretty significant move. We were in a much smaller town and had gone from a more urban community to an upper class suburban town. The ministry there was hard. My parents went through a lot. Still, I wanted to serve God. My parents were very good at protecting us from the difficulties of what they were going through, while being very real with us at home. They were not one way in church and one way at home. They loved us in both environments and expected the same from us in both places. I will always be eternally grateful for this. It was in this loving environment, that my faith and love for Christ was born. I was able to see the goodness and love of God. It was much easier to accept Christ and the truth of the gospel in my home. It was in my own personal devotions, at a young age, that God spoke to me about going into ministry. However in my teen years, I fought it. I thought about doing other things and pursuing other career options. It was after a difficult church situation, that my parents left the ministry they were in and started attending another church. While there, the Church hired a youth pastor. It was under his ministry, that I was able to learn how to have a deeper relationship with Christ. The discipleship at this point in my life, helped me to make the ultimate decision to go to Bible College and pursue God's call on my life. God has been good to me. He protected me from a lot and He showed me His goodness at a very young age. It is because of this that I don't think I could ever turn away. There have been hi's and lows in my life. After Bible College and into marraige and ministry. I have faced many things. If it wasn't for the faith of my youth, I don't think I would be the person I am today or be able to live the life I have.
For years I have always looked down on my testimony. I think that often in the church a good testimony has been revered and praised. Look what God has done! Look how far they have come! Look what God saved them from! I have always felt inadequate.
Now many of you may say, why do you look down on your testimony. The simple answer is that I have always felt like it would be irrelevant to reaching people. I'm in the ministry, I'm supposed to relate to people and be able to be understanding, and yet I don't have a way to do that. Getting right down to it, my testimony is not common, its uncommon. Not many people have had what I had. I don't say this in a proud way, I just realize that many people have experienced so much more than I have whether by choice or not by choice.
Fast forward to today. A little over a week ago we took our students to our yearly convention. While there, I offered all of my insecurities to God. Simply saying, Lord I feel inadequate, like I don't have anything to offer. I instantaneously sensed the Lord saying to me, You need to love people like I would love them. There is a common thought today in the church that in order to reach people you have to have experienced what they have in order to understand them. This is a lie. A lie I listened to. I, just like everyone else who is a Christian, have been saved by the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have been shown the love of God and have experienced His deliverance. It happened differently for me then others. However, everyone has a story. What I have to offer is myself as a lover of God. Then in turn love others. That is what the Bible commands us to do. To Love Him and love others. He has given me the ability to show His amazing love to others. Wow! It is so awesome that I can do that. It is so awesome that I can share this precious gift. It doesn't matter where I came from it just matters what I have to give and that is His Love.
I have been freed from the notion that I had to live a rough past in order to reach people. I can be myself and reach others. Today, if anyone who reads this needs prayer or needs encouragement, please know that I love you and am willing to pray for you. Lastly, my question for you is this. What is your God story? What has He brought you from and where is He taking you? Be Blessed today!
For years I have always looked down on my testimony. I think that often in the church a good testimony has been revered and praised. Look what God has done! Look how far they have come! Look what God saved them from! I have always felt inadequate.
Now many of you may say, why do you look down on your testimony. The simple answer is that I have always felt like it would be irrelevant to reaching people. I'm in the ministry, I'm supposed to relate to people and be able to be understanding, and yet I don't have a way to do that. Getting right down to it, my testimony is not common, its uncommon. Not many people have had what I had. I don't say this in a proud way, I just realize that many people have experienced so much more than I have whether by choice or not by choice.
Fast forward to today. A little over a week ago we took our students to our yearly convention. While there, I offered all of my insecurities to God. Simply saying, Lord I feel inadequate, like I don't have anything to offer. I instantaneously sensed the Lord saying to me, You need to love people like I would love them. There is a common thought today in the church that in order to reach people you have to have experienced what they have in order to understand them. This is a lie. A lie I listened to. I, just like everyone else who is a Christian, have been saved by the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have been shown the love of God and have experienced His deliverance. It happened differently for me then others. However, everyone has a story. What I have to offer is myself as a lover of God. Then in turn love others. That is what the Bible commands us to do. To Love Him and love others. He has given me the ability to show His amazing love to others. Wow! It is so awesome that I can do that. It is so awesome that I can share this precious gift. It doesn't matter where I came from it just matters what I have to give and that is His Love.
I have been freed from the notion that I had to live a rough past in order to reach people. I can be myself and reach others. Today, if anyone who reads this needs prayer or needs encouragement, please know that I love you and am willing to pray for you. Lastly, my question for you is this. What is your God story? What has He brought you from and where is He taking you? Be Blessed today!
Monday, April 14, 2014
To be a Mom or not to be
Well, this week it has been difficult for me to settle on a subject to talk about. Then, as I reviewed the last couple weeks, I have been going through quite a struggle. I'm just going to get downright honest. Sometimes I don't like being a mom. Sometimes, the messy, loud, constant discipline part of parenting drives me crazy. At that point, I sit myself on the couch and wish I could put my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and block it all out. That is what I have been going through, to the point where I was just shutting down. Just plain worn out. My drive to do anything was gone, I just felt like hiding.
Yes, I know this sounds pretty selfish. It was. I had to accept, once again, this is my life. I have to live all of it. I have to live through the triumphs and the trenches. I had to take my fingers out of my ears, and open my eyes and look at my life as a whole.
My husband was the one who looked at me one night and pointed out my 'fingers in ears and eyes closed' mentality. He was like, "What is going on with you? It's like the moment the kids enter the house you automatically act annoyed and frustrated, before they have even done or said anything." I got mad at him. I didn't want to deal with my frustrated feelings of not wanting to be a parent. I wanted to revert back to childhood with no worries, no struggles, no hard stuff.
That night I did the only thing I had left to do, and frankly with very little faith. I prayed. I was very matter of fact. I needed help. I didn't like where I was right then and I didn't like what I was allowing myself to become. I asked once again, that God would change me. Change my attitude, change my heart, and help me to overcome the lazy, frustrated, attitude that I had allowed in.
This is what it came down to, I didn't want to deal with life. Bill said to me, "You have to decide if this is the life you want." That may sound harsh, but he wasn't giving me an ultimatum, he was challenging to me to look at my life as a whole, not just the stuff that was driving me crazy.
Life is full of ups and downs, learning and growing, winning and losing. Being a parent is a privilege and a great responsibility. I had to take inventory of myself. How much was I willing to give? It is an all or nothing undertaking.
A couple months ago, I responded to an article a woman wrote about how much she hated being a parent and although I was appalled, as many were, I see now where the emotions and feelings of her writing came from. Loving another person is a selfless act that takes part of who I am. Our culture would say, you shouldn't have to change, you should be able to do what you feel, and act the way you want. The reality is, we have a choice to give or to take. To love ourselves or to love those that God has given us. It is a daily choice. It may seem unromantic and undramatic, but that is simply life.
After praying for God to change my heart and my attitude, I was able to see clearly. He seems to be the only one who can remove the self inflicted scales from my eyes. I have been given a wonderful gift. Three amazing beautiful children that were somehow supposed to be mine to raise. They have been a part of God's plan to make me who He wants me to be. A choice to be a mother or not to be. I have heard it said that anyone can make a child but not everyone can be a parent. I definitely want to be the best parent I can be even if it means laying my life down to love them and train them to be who they are supposed to be. To surpass me in every way, in their relationship with Jesus, in there life decisions, and in their future legacies! What a high and holy calling! I think the choice becomes a lot easier when I think of it that way!
Well that was my honesty coming out. I hope that someone is encouraged today! God Bless!
Yes, I know this sounds pretty selfish. It was. I had to accept, once again, this is my life. I have to live all of it. I have to live through the triumphs and the trenches. I had to take my fingers out of my ears, and open my eyes and look at my life as a whole.
My husband was the one who looked at me one night and pointed out my 'fingers in ears and eyes closed' mentality. He was like, "What is going on with you? It's like the moment the kids enter the house you automatically act annoyed and frustrated, before they have even done or said anything." I got mad at him. I didn't want to deal with my frustrated feelings of not wanting to be a parent. I wanted to revert back to childhood with no worries, no struggles, no hard stuff.
That night I did the only thing I had left to do, and frankly with very little faith. I prayed. I was very matter of fact. I needed help. I didn't like where I was right then and I didn't like what I was allowing myself to become. I asked once again, that God would change me. Change my attitude, change my heart, and help me to overcome the lazy, frustrated, attitude that I had allowed in.
This is what it came down to, I didn't want to deal with life. Bill said to me, "You have to decide if this is the life you want." That may sound harsh, but he wasn't giving me an ultimatum, he was challenging to me to look at my life as a whole, not just the stuff that was driving me crazy.
Life is full of ups and downs, learning and growing, winning and losing. Being a parent is a privilege and a great responsibility. I had to take inventory of myself. How much was I willing to give? It is an all or nothing undertaking.
A couple months ago, I responded to an article a woman wrote about how much she hated being a parent and although I was appalled, as many were, I see now where the emotions and feelings of her writing came from. Loving another person is a selfless act that takes part of who I am. Our culture would say, you shouldn't have to change, you should be able to do what you feel, and act the way you want. The reality is, we have a choice to give or to take. To love ourselves or to love those that God has given us. It is a daily choice. It may seem unromantic and undramatic, but that is simply life.
After praying for God to change my heart and my attitude, I was able to see clearly. He seems to be the only one who can remove the self inflicted scales from my eyes. I have been given a wonderful gift. Three amazing beautiful children that were somehow supposed to be mine to raise. They have been a part of God's plan to make me who He wants me to be. A choice to be a mother or not to be. I have heard it said that anyone can make a child but not everyone can be a parent. I definitely want to be the best parent I can be even if it means laying my life down to love them and train them to be who they are supposed to be. To surpass me in every way, in their relationship with Jesus, in there life decisions, and in their future legacies! What a high and holy calling! I think the choice becomes a lot easier when I think of it that way!
Well that was my honesty coming out. I hope that someone is encouraged today! God Bless!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Religion is a Carrot
I have been unemployed for a little over 3 months. Being on unemployment requires that I have to meet with a career counselor. This past week, was my second appointment, it was my first time meeting the guy who was assigned to me. He was a young man, who was really nice, really helpful, and frankly pretty cool. During the course of the conversation, he asked me what my dream job would be. I went on to tell him that my dream would be to be a Worship Pastor full time. He then went on to ask what denomination I belonged to. The conversation took an interesting turn, when he began to share with me his belief system. Mind you, I didn't ask for his opinion, it just seemed like he had the need to share all his thoughts about religion with me. I just thoughtfully listened. I've come to a point in my life where I would rather listen to why people believe what they believe, then write them off as wrong. All people believe something, and in order to point them towards Jesus, its important to know what path they are coming from.
He told me that he grew up catholic and he went to a catholic college. While there, all of his beliefs were put to the test. He pretty much lost his faith and the reason for his beliefs by the time he graduated. This is a common occurrence these days. He shared with me the basis of his belief. We have grown out of the need for religion and people should know how to be good without it. That we have evolved enough to know better. He likened religion to a carrot. Something man created so that they could coerce people into being good. Basically, "You'll go to heaven if you don't do this, this, and this." Man created the idea of Heaven to dangle in front of people to be good, like a carrot used to train a horse. I told him, that no one is good, and obviously that doesn't really work. He continued to go on saying that as far as we have come as humans we should be good.
I can see where the idea of going to heaven can be used as a reason to encourage people to do good. The reality is, Heaven may be the final destination, but it is the relationship we have with God, while alive that gets us there. Before Jesus even came to earth, there was an understanding of eternity. God gave people guidelines. Even before Israel even became a nation, there was a moral code that had been passed down through generations. There was a knowledge of a creator, and even a culture of sacrifice. Morality is deeply ingrained in the souls of humanity. To lack any sort of conscience, I would argue is to be inhuman.We are born with some sort of sense of right and wrong. As a parent I can tell you that children are more prone to do wrong then right. The picture of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on another, is very relevant. Even if it is just metaphor.
The Bible declares that no man is good. Paul in Romans put the whole need for the law argument down in several chapters. The purpose of the law being created was a way to show us how short we fall. All the sacrificing and rituals mean nothing with out true knowledge of a savior. It has nothing to do with just going to heaven. Heaven would be easy if it we were just given a set of clear cut rules. The reality, Jesus is the real carrot. He's the one we need. He was dangled before us on a tree. He was offered to us as our way to heaven. We couldn't be good enough no matter what religion says. Only He is good. Accepting His sacrifice is the only way. Only He can make us better. The faulty thinking of my counselor, God bless him, is the idea that man can do this without Jesus. So in a way he was right. religion in terms of rites and rituals does not make people better. Only Jesus can do that. In a previous blog, I stated that everyone has a choice to believe or not. People have the potential to be really good or really bad or both. The only way to be truly good and truly whole is to know Jesus. God gave us guidelines from the beginning of time. In fact, they proved to show how impossible it is for us to follow them without help. He created them so that the only possible way to achieve them would be to know Him. That carrot is there because God just loved us to darn much to leave us alone. So yeah in a sense, Religion is a carrot, one that should show us our deep inevitable need for God.
He told me that he grew up catholic and he went to a catholic college. While there, all of his beliefs were put to the test. He pretty much lost his faith and the reason for his beliefs by the time he graduated. This is a common occurrence these days. He shared with me the basis of his belief. We have grown out of the need for religion and people should know how to be good without it. That we have evolved enough to know better. He likened religion to a carrot. Something man created so that they could coerce people into being good. Basically, "You'll go to heaven if you don't do this, this, and this." Man created the idea of Heaven to dangle in front of people to be good, like a carrot used to train a horse. I told him, that no one is good, and obviously that doesn't really work. He continued to go on saying that as far as we have come as humans we should be good.
I can see where the idea of going to heaven can be used as a reason to encourage people to do good. The reality is, Heaven may be the final destination, but it is the relationship we have with God, while alive that gets us there. Before Jesus even came to earth, there was an understanding of eternity. God gave people guidelines. Even before Israel even became a nation, there was a moral code that had been passed down through generations. There was a knowledge of a creator, and even a culture of sacrifice. Morality is deeply ingrained in the souls of humanity. To lack any sort of conscience, I would argue is to be inhuman.We are born with some sort of sense of right and wrong. As a parent I can tell you that children are more prone to do wrong then right. The picture of the angel on one shoulder and the devil on another, is very relevant. Even if it is just metaphor.
The Bible declares that no man is good. Paul in Romans put the whole need for the law argument down in several chapters. The purpose of the law being created was a way to show us how short we fall. All the sacrificing and rituals mean nothing with out true knowledge of a savior. It has nothing to do with just going to heaven. Heaven would be easy if it we were just given a set of clear cut rules. The reality, Jesus is the real carrot. He's the one we need. He was dangled before us on a tree. He was offered to us as our way to heaven. We couldn't be good enough no matter what religion says. Only He is good. Accepting His sacrifice is the only way. Only He can make us better. The faulty thinking of my counselor, God bless him, is the idea that man can do this without Jesus. So in a way he was right. religion in terms of rites and rituals does not make people better. Only Jesus can do that. In a previous blog, I stated that everyone has a choice to believe or not. People have the potential to be really good or really bad or both. The only way to be truly good and truly whole is to know Jesus. God gave us guidelines from the beginning of time. In fact, they proved to show how impossible it is for us to follow them without help. He created them so that the only possible way to achieve them would be to know Him. That carrot is there because God just loved us to darn much to leave us alone. So yeah in a sense, Religion is a carrot, one that should show us our deep inevitable need for God.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Noah, honesty, and identity
This is going to be one of those posts that may seem kind of scattered. I'm going to try and bring it to a nice conclusion but I'm just going to start writing and see how it goes.
This week, the epic film Noah came out. I have to admit I paid attention to every Facebook post or article that came out about it. I checked out the critical reviews and read a bunch of friends thoughts on the movie. It made me want to see it. Like really bad. I still haven't. I think it is hilarious how people go from one extreme to the other to defend or discredit something like this. I love books and movies. I enjoy a great film. Especially a film based on a great book. (I'm kind of a fan girl when it comes to Hunger Games). Even though I haven't seen Noah yet, I find it interesting that many of my fellow believers either loved it or hated it. Personally, I believe expectations on a Biblically accurate movie done on such a large scale should be extremely low. Hollywood tends to spin or corrupt anything close to Christian or Bible based. However, people's perspectives are so different and it has been interesting to listen or read about it. I think what it comes down to is, decide for yourself. Oh, and make sure that you read the Biblical account first. Then it will be like going to a movie that is based on a book. If it's way off then it's way off. You shouldn't have super high expectations. If it's pretty close then, Hooray! Maybe there is hope that Hollywood may have unbiased directors and producers (although I highly doubt the latter) .
Hey I'm just being honest. This has got to be one of my least favorite excuses as of late. Months ago, I had b written an entire blog about honesty. I was super intense about it but felt like I was coming on strong. I didn't publish it. So here goes the abbreviated version. This has become a huge pet peeve of mine. Honesty is important, it's essential for trust, for love, for friendship, for work environments. I'm all about honesty. People who know me know that I tend to be honest to a fault. I would rather be truthful the not. The pet peeve part of this comes in when people use honesty as an excuse. I'm a horrible person but at least I'm being honest about it. Soooooo you think that gets you off the hook? Because your being honest about it? That is so noble. So good of you to admit that. Now what? The problem with saying, At least I'm being honest, is that there is no intention to change whatever it is your being honest about. It's a big old cop out. Honesty is the best policy after all. However by saying that, individuals are lying to themselves. They are pulling the wool over their eyes. They are trying to cover themselves with a general excuse that doesn't really make them a better or a honest person. So, the point of this little rant? Stop trying to be so honest when honestly you have no intention to be better than you are. I'm not saying lie, I'm saying keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear your honest assessment of yourself if your not going to try and change. That may have seemed harsh but honesty and true confession truly works with the intention to change, using it as an excuse is lame. I can be honest about my laziness, but I'm not going to try and make it all right by saying so. I'm going to strive to make myself better.
Identity. This is the best part about my entire week. This weekend I had the opportunity to lead worship at a women's conference. It was great. I love music, I love singing to and about God, and I love helping other people do it. While there, the speaker talked a lot about identity. Who am I? It is hard to take an honest look inside and face yourself. So often we are so many things. Different phases of life bring different roles. Sister, brother, friend, wife, husband, parent, coworker, student...who am I right now? Who am I supposed to be, how do I prioritize. The speaker talked about how a big move, forced her to look at her identity. Her husband's job changed and so they had to move which changed her job situation. It put her in a place where she was really evaluating her worth. I was profoundly moved because I feel like I go through that all the time. I'm Bill Kenna's wife, I'm Gordon and Becky's daughter, I'm Caleb, Riley, and Carson's mother. I'm Jered and Joel's sister. All of those id's are great but to God, I'm just Erica. He knew me before I was born. He loved me when He knew all my flaws and all my failures, all my talents and triumphs. It is in Him that I find out who I really am, and who He always intended me to be. I have struggled with the idea that I'm not the most beautiful or smart or talented. In my insecurities, I have been quicker to look at the negative and not the positive and yet... this is who God made me. His plan was perfect for me, even in my imperfection. God doesn't see me through the expectations of my society. He doesn't see me through a religious expectation. He's sees His creation. He's sees how to perfect it. That's why, I have to go after Him. How am I ever going to become what I'm supposed to be without my creator. What a relief to know that I haven't arrived yet. That my identity is not set in stone, that I don't have to use the excuse "I'm just being honest." I will become so much more than I am right now. I will become the picture that God is meticulously painting right now. When all is complete I'll be who I'm supposed to be. Who I am can be summed up when I've reached my home and can honestly look back and say, "God, that was what you saw all along?" What a joy to be living a journey. To be creating a story. To have the perfect author, to be myself.
Well, that's it. pretty much a week of thoughts and experiences summed up. Noah, what a guy, He obeyed and knew God. His identity may have been the guy who built a big boat and saved a bunch of animals. In the grand scheme of things, He obeyed God and was an instrument to foreshadow salvation and the power of God. Is that what your life might be used for? Honestly assess who you are and your identity. Strive, to become all that God wants for you, because like Noah, He may use you to transform the world.
This week, the epic film Noah came out. I have to admit I paid attention to every Facebook post or article that came out about it. I checked out the critical reviews and read a bunch of friends thoughts on the movie. It made me want to see it. Like really bad. I still haven't. I think it is hilarious how people go from one extreme to the other to defend or discredit something like this. I love books and movies. I enjoy a great film. Especially a film based on a great book. (I'm kind of a fan girl when it comes to Hunger Games). Even though I haven't seen Noah yet, I find it interesting that many of my fellow believers either loved it or hated it. Personally, I believe expectations on a Biblically accurate movie done on such a large scale should be extremely low. Hollywood tends to spin or corrupt anything close to Christian or Bible based. However, people's perspectives are so different and it has been interesting to listen or read about it. I think what it comes down to is, decide for yourself. Oh, and make sure that you read the Biblical account first. Then it will be like going to a movie that is based on a book. If it's way off then it's way off. You shouldn't have super high expectations. If it's pretty close then, Hooray! Maybe there is hope that Hollywood may have unbiased directors and producers (although I highly doubt the latter) .
Hey I'm just being honest. This has got to be one of my least favorite excuses as of late. Months ago, I had b written an entire blog about honesty. I was super intense about it but felt like I was coming on strong. I didn't publish it. So here goes the abbreviated version. This has become a huge pet peeve of mine. Honesty is important, it's essential for trust, for love, for friendship, for work environments. I'm all about honesty. People who know me know that I tend to be honest to a fault. I would rather be truthful the not. The pet peeve part of this comes in when people use honesty as an excuse. I'm a horrible person but at least I'm being honest about it. Soooooo you think that gets you off the hook? Because your being honest about it? That is so noble. So good of you to admit that. Now what? The problem with saying, At least I'm being honest, is that there is no intention to change whatever it is your being honest about. It's a big old cop out. Honesty is the best policy after all. However by saying that, individuals are lying to themselves. They are pulling the wool over their eyes. They are trying to cover themselves with a general excuse that doesn't really make them a better or a honest person. So, the point of this little rant? Stop trying to be so honest when honestly you have no intention to be better than you are. I'm not saying lie, I'm saying keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear your honest assessment of yourself if your not going to try and change. That may have seemed harsh but honesty and true confession truly works with the intention to change, using it as an excuse is lame. I can be honest about my laziness, but I'm not going to try and make it all right by saying so. I'm going to strive to make myself better.
Identity. This is the best part about my entire week. This weekend I had the opportunity to lead worship at a women's conference. It was great. I love music, I love singing to and about God, and I love helping other people do it. While there, the speaker talked a lot about identity. Who am I? It is hard to take an honest look inside and face yourself. So often we are so many things. Different phases of life bring different roles. Sister, brother, friend, wife, husband, parent, coworker, student...who am I right now? Who am I supposed to be, how do I prioritize. The speaker talked about how a big move, forced her to look at her identity. Her husband's job changed and so they had to move which changed her job situation. It put her in a place where she was really evaluating her worth. I was profoundly moved because I feel like I go through that all the time. I'm Bill Kenna's wife, I'm Gordon and Becky's daughter, I'm Caleb, Riley, and Carson's mother. I'm Jered and Joel's sister. All of those id's are great but to God, I'm just Erica. He knew me before I was born. He loved me when He knew all my flaws and all my failures, all my talents and triumphs. It is in Him that I find out who I really am, and who He always intended me to be. I have struggled with the idea that I'm not the most beautiful or smart or talented. In my insecurities, I have been quicker to look at the negative and not the positive and yet... this is who God made me. His plan was perfect for me, even in my imperfection. God doesn't see me through the expectations of my society. He doesn't see me through a religious expectation. He's sees His creation. He's sees how to perfect it. That's why, I have to go after Him. How am I ever going to become what I'm supposed to be without my creator. What a relief to know that I haven't arrived yet. That my identity is not set in stone, that I don't have to use the excuse "I'm just being honest." I will become so much more than I am right now. I will become the picture that God is meticulously painting right now. When all is complete I'll be who I'm supposed to be. Who I am can be summed up when I've reached my home and can honestly look back and say, "God, that was what you saw all along?" What a joy to be living a journey. To be creating a story. To have the perfect author, to be myself.
Well, that's it. pretty much a week of thoughts and experiences summed up. Noah, what a guy, He obeyed and knew God. His identity may have been the guy who built a big boat and saved a bunch of animals. In the grand scheme of things, He obeyed God and was an instrument to foreshadow salvation and the power of God. Is that what your life might be used for? Honestly assess who you are and your identity. Strive, to become all that God wants for you, because like Noah, He may use you to transform the world.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Hated
When I was growing up, my mom used to correct us whenever we said we hated anything. She would lovingly say, "Erica, hate is a very strong word." I find that these days, hate is thrown around just as much as love is. I love you, I hate you. I love that, I hate that. They are important words that are used so frequently that we forget their actual meaning. Words are powerful and we are foolish to forget that. However, I'm not here to talk about words.
Recently, I have watched the world turn on people, calling those who don't hate, haters. I have read many an article about equality and love and acceptance. Except, usually those articles leave out one group of people. Those Christians, they hate everyone. I'm not going to defend Christians everywhere because I know that the Church and Christianity as a whole have made mistakes. They have not always promoted the love of Christ as they are called to. I find it frustrating when critics roll all Christians up into a stereotypical ball however and call them haters. Really?
Our church weekly gives free food to the poor by hosting our regional food bank. During thanksgiving, the people in our church sacrifice their own Thanksgiving's with their families to work all night prepping and making thanksgiving for the needy and elderly people in our community. Every year we host summer outreaches to tell people we love them and are there for them. Our pastor preaches love and acceptance every week from the pulpit, inviting people to open their hearts and minds to the possibility of a God who loves them. My husband has spent half of his life sharing the love of God with people. Not condemning or pointing fingers at them but simply sharing the truth that God loves them and wants them.
Haters.
We have seen people saved from lives of abuse and drugs and families restored just because they decided to believe in a guy named Jesus. The only place I have seen hate promoted is from a media who is bent on twisting the truth of what true Christianity really means.
The promotion of hate against Christians has begun. Do I get it? At first, I can honestly say I didn't understand it. I have never tried to hate anyone. I have always tried to love and accept people because that is what Jesus did for me. Have I made mistakes, absolutely. Have I been ignorant, yes I have. However, the nature of faith in Jesus is not to stay the same but to love more, to learn more, to sacrifice more. My prayer lately has been, Lord, reveal to me any areas in my life where I have acted out of hate and not out of love.
What this comes down to is, do I accept sin or not? The answer to this question is no. I can't. Jesus accepted sin when He allowed all of the sin of the world to be placed on Him through His death on the cross. He didn't condone it. Every time He healed someone, He declared, Go and sin no more. When He was confronted with the woman caught in adultery, He addressed hypocrisy but saying, You that are without sin, cast the first stone. They all walked away and then He looked at the woman and declared, Go and sin no more. I'm not here to point out people's sin, but I'm not going to accept it either. I can't accept my own sin why would I accept anyone else's. That is why I'm going to be hated.
When I chose Jesus, I chose not to belong to the world anymore. Not to go with the flow or walk the broad road. Rather here I am, on the narrow road. Here I am holding on to Christ. Here I am embracing the truth that the world hates me. My acceptance and worth doesn't come from what the people around me think, but what God thinks. As infuriating as it is to watch Christians placed on a negative pedestal and "crucified" for what they believe in, this is normal. This is reality. This is what it means to be hated. I never thought I would see the day in my own country where this would be the case but now that its here, I have begun to understand. It has strengthened my resolve to do two things. To believe more confidently in Jesus Christ and to love people more. I am done fighting with people. Done trying to prove anything. I'm done getting up in arms. If Jesus said I would be hated, then the idea that everyone is going to accept me is a boldface lie. So I'd rather be hated and in love with Jesus, then loved and lost.
Recently, I have watched the world turn on people, calling those who don't hate, haters. I have read many an article about equality and love and acceptance. Except, usually those articles leave out one group of people. Those Christians, they hate everyone. I'm not going to defend Christians everywhere because I know that the Church and Christianity as a whole have made mistakes. They have not always promoted the love of Christ as they are called to. I find it frustrating when critics roll all Christians up into a stereotypical ball however and call them haters. Really?
Our church weekly gives free food to the poor by hosting our regional food bank. During thanksgiving, the people in our church sacrifice their own Thanksgiving's with their families to work all night prepping and making thanksgiving for the needy and elderly people in our community. Every year we host summer outreaches to tell people we love them and are there for them. Our pastor preaches love and acceptance every week from the pulpit, inviting people to open their hearts and minds to the possibility of a God who loves them. My husband has spent half of his life sharing the love of God with people. Not condemning or pointing fingers at them but simply sharing the truth that God loves them and wants them.
Haters.
We have seen people saved from lives of abuse and drugs and families restored just because they decided to believe in a guy named Jesus. The only place I have seen hate promoted is from a media who is bent on twisting the truth of what true Christianity really means.
The promotion of hate against Christians has begun. Do I get it? At first, I can honestly say I didn't understand it. I have never tried to hate anyone. I have always tried to love and accept people because that is what Jesus did for me. Have I made mistakes, absolutely. Have I been ignorant, yes I have. However, the nature of faith in Jesus is not to stay the same but to love more, to learn more, to sacrifice more. My prayer lately has been, Lord, reveal to me any areas in my life where I have acted out of hate and not out of love.
What this comes down to is, do I accept sin or not? The answer to this question is no. I can't. Jesus accepted sin when He allowed all of the sin of the world to be placed on Him through His death on the cross. He didn't condone it. Every time He healed someone, He declared, Go and sin no more. When He was confronted with the woman caught in adultery, He addressed hypocrisy but saying, You that are without sin, cast the first stone. They all walked away and then He looked at the woman and declared, Go and sin no more. I'm not here to point out people's sin, but I'm not going to accept it either. I can't accept my own sin why would I accept anyone else's. That is why I'm going to be hated.
The bible says in John 15:18,19; If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
When I chose Jesus, I chose not to belong to the world anymore. Not to go with the flow or walk the broad road. Rather here I am, on the narrow road. Here I am holding on to Christ. Here I am embracing the truth that the world hates me. My acceptance and worth doesn't come from what the people around me think, but what God thinks. As infuriating as it is to watch Christians placed on a negative pedestal and "crucified" for what they believe in, this is normal. This is reality. This is what it means to be hated. I never thought I would see the day in my own country where this would be the case but now that its here, I have begun to understand. It has strengthened my resolve to do two things. To believe more confidently in Jesus Christ and to love people more. I am done fighting with people. Done trying to prove anything. I'm done getting up in arms. If Jesus said I would be hated, then the idea that everyone is going to accept me is a boldface lie. So I'd rather be hated and in love with Jesus, then loved and lost.
Matthew 5:10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs
Monday, March 17, 2014
Sunday Morning Society
Recently, I was doing a Bible study with one of the young women in our church. We were studying the basics of faith and Christianity. When we got to the chapter that described the Church and its mission, I was extremely frustrated. As we were talking, it started to dawn on me that the American Church as a whole has got this thing all wrong. Don't misunderstand me, I don't think all churches miss the mark when it comes to what its supposed to look like. However, as a whole I was increasingly frustrated at the Biblical definition of the church as compared to our definition.
Let me start by saying, the American church has begun to look like a social club, with social ideas, and motto's. It has begun to have crazy requirements and rituals. It has become picky and choosy. It kind of sounds like a sorority. You have to pledge a certain set of values, you have to meet certain requirements, and you have to perform certain rituals. It has become easier for people to say "Why bother if I can't possibly meet those standards?" When people walk into to the church, often they are confronted with the same old cliques. The same feelings of inadequacy that often can be found in the high school cafeteria. Eek. This may seem extreme for me to be saying. Honestly, I love my church and I love the people in it. As a minister it is often easy not to see where the church has fallen short but it only took a couple Biblical examples for me to realize...we are missing it.
As me and my friend sat studying the Bible, she told me a little bit about when she worked as a nanny for many Jewish families. She talked about how reverent they were towards their faith, she told me how close knit they were, and she told me how they shared everything. That reminded me of the culture that our faith was born out of.
Acts 2:42-47 "42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles.44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
In Jesus' time, this is how people were. They weren't concerned about what people looked like, how much money they had, what their background was. They were all Christians. They showed a different example then what was in the world. They didn't allow the negative aspects of their society or there outward circumstances to form their church, they allow the love of God to. They recognized the importance of fellowship, of staying together, of not letting stuff separate them. I'm sure that everyone wasn't perfect and that not everyone got along all the time. However, they had purpose and focus. So lets break this down.
First, they studied the Word of God, did communion, and prayed. In the church we usually have this one down. We go to church every Sunday and hear the message preached, we pray, and worship together. Of course we remember by celebrating communion. However, often the message and its purpose stops as we walk out the church doors. The things we learn and the sacrifice we remember stays at church, while we go on living our lives the way we want to. No surrender or acknowledgment of God in our everyday lives. Down in verse 46, it says they met together everyday. They spent time at the temple everyday to do these things. Now I get that we can't all be at church everyday and we don't all have those kind of schedules. Yet we need to maintain these things in our lives and in our families every day.
Next, they shared with one another. They were generous, they were compassionate, and they helped met each other's needs. They came together to help the widows and orphans. They were focused on taking care of one another. That is what the people around them recognized the most about these Christians. It wasn't just the great preaching or music or the teaching, it was the way they took care of each other. They didn't pick and choose who they were going to care for. They saw the need, they pulled together, and they met it. Are we doing this in our churches? Do we come together in one accord and ask sincerely, what are the needs of the people in our church and in our community? How can we meet these needs? Some people have the financial ability. Some people have the educational ability. Some people have the time. Everyone has something to offer. If we could just come and work together.
1 Corinthians 12:12-14 "12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many."
Lastly, they hung out. They simply got together and enjoyed each other's company. They were not alone in their faith. They spent time getting to know one another. They probably laughed, sang, played games, watched each other's kids. They didn't go at it alone. They didn't say things like "I love that person but I don't really like them." They shared in each other's struggles and triumphs. They did life together. I've heard that phrase a lot recently. They embraced and lived life together as one body. I know not all personalities mesh, and I know that cultures often collide and misunderstand each other, but we are not just personalities and not just cultures. We are Christ followers. That should be the glue that binds us together. Not just because we agree all the time or because we like each other all the time. We love Jesus. That should be enough of a reason to cast all the other stuff aside and embrace one another. That should be the prerequisite to this club. When people who don't know Jesus see us like this, they will want to be a part of it.
Verse 47, says that people were added to the church daily. That's not a couple members a year. That's thousands of members every year. We need the amazing power of God through prayer and His word. We need to see signs and wonders. I would also venture to say that we need to get the practical life stuff down. People shouldn't be afraid to be who they are when they walk into church on Sunday. They shouldn't have to say things like, "when I get my life together then I'll come to church" we need to be transformed into a Church that accepts all and even more than that accepts each other.
God bless! Go and change your Church!
Let me start by saying, the American church has begun to look like a social club, with social ideas, and motto's. It has begun to have crazy requirements and rituals. It has become picky and choosy. It kind of sounds like a sorority. You have to pledge a certain set of values, you have to meet certain requirements, and you have to perform certain rituals. It has become easier for people to say "Why bother if I can't possibly meet those standards?" When people walk into to the church, often they are confronted with the same old cliques. The same feelings of inadequacy that often can be found in the high school cafeteria. Eek. This may seem extreme for me to be saying. Honestly, I love my church and I love the people in it. As a minister it is often easy not to see where the church has fallen short but it only took a couple Biblical examples for me to realize...we are missing it.
As me and my friend sat studying the Bible, she told me a little bit about when she worked as a nanny for many Jewish families. She talked about how reverent they were towards their faith, she told me how close knit they were, and she told me how they shared everything. That reminded me of the culture that our faith was born out of.
Acts 2:42-47 "42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles.44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
In Jesus' time, this is how people were. They weren't concerned about what people looked like, how much money they had, what their background was. They were all Christians. They showed a different example then what was in the world. They didn't allow the negative aspects of their society or there outward circumstances to form their church, they allow the love of God to. They recognized the importance of fellowship, of staying together, of not letting stuff separate them. I'm sure that everyone wasn't perfect and that not everyone got along all the time. However, they had purpose and focus. So lets break this down.
First, they studied the Word of God, did communion, and prayed. In the church we usually have this one down. We go to church every Sunday and hear the message preached, we pray, and worship together. Of course we remember by celebrating communion. However, often the message and its purpose stops as we walk out the church doors. The things we learn and the sacrifice we remember stays at church, while we go on living our lives the way we want to. No surrender or acknowledgment of God in our everyday lives. Down in verse 46, it says they met together everyday. They spent time at the temple everyday to do these things. Now I get that we can't all be at church everyday and we don't all have those kind of schedules. Yet we need to maintain these things in our lives and in our families every day.
Next, they shared with one another. They were generous, they were compassionate, and they helped met each other's needs. They came together to help the widows and orphans. They were focused on taking care of one another. That is what the people around them recognized the most about these Christians. It wasn't just the great preaching or music or the teaching, it was the way they took care of each other. They didn't pick and choose who they were going to care for. They saw the need, they pulled together, and they met it. Are we doing this in our churches? Do we come together in one accord and ask sincerely, what are the needs of the people in our church and in our community? How can we meet these needs? Some people have the financial ability. Some people have the educational ability. Some people have the time. Everyone has something to offer. If we could just come and work together.
1 Corinthians 12:12-14 "12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many."
Lastly, they hung out. They simply got together and enjoyed each other's company. They were not alone in their faith. They spent time getting to know one another. They probably laughed, sang, played games, watched each other's kids. They didn't go at it alone. They didn't say things like "I love that person but I don't really like them." They shared in each other's struggles and triumphs. They did life together. I've heard that phrase a lot recently. They embraced and lived life together as one body. I know not all personalities mesh, and I know that cultures often collide and misunderstand each other, but we are not just personalities and not just cultures. We are Christ followers. That should be the glue that binds us together. Not just because we agree all the time or because we like each other all the time. We love Jesus. That should be enough of a reason to cast all the other stuff aside and embrace one another. That should be the prerequisite to this club. When people who don't know Jesus see us like this, they will want to be a part of it.
Verse 47, says that people were added to the church daily. That's not a couple members a year. That's thousands of members every year. We need the amazing power of God through prayer and His word. We need to see signs and wonders. I would also venture to say that we need to get the practical life stuff down. People shouldn't be afraid to be who they are when they walk into church on Sunday. They shouldn't have to say things like, "when I get my life together then I'll come to church" we need to be transformed into a Church that accepts all and even more than that accepts each other.
God bless! Go and change your Church!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Blind spot
The first new car that Bill and I ever bought, that required a car payment, was our PT Cruiser. It was electric blue and I loved it. It was reliable and we put a lot of miles on it until we sold it last year. I don't have anything negative to say about the car, except that it had the worst blind spots. I cut off a bunch of people, on accident. Whenever I looked behind me to check my right side it was nearly impossible to see anything. I couldn't get an accurate view of what was going on behind me. It was scary on the highway, it was nerve racking in traffic, and it made driving the car a little risky.
I've been thinking a lot about blind spots in life. Lately I have analyzed our lives in ministry. I have begun to realize that people have spiritual weaknesses that can cause extremely risky behavior. It can be something that they are totally unaware of. It can be something they chose to ignore. It can be something that they downplay because they don't think it is a big deal. A lot of the time, the only way to see over the obstruction is to take a good hard look inside.
It takes courage and faith. Let's face it, no one wants to admit what their weaknesses are, whether they are big or small, major or minor. The reality is we all have them. One of mine, is when I have had a breakthrough in my life. I have worked really hard and finally accomplished something, or have seen a big challenge through. It is when I sit down feeling victorious and accomplished that I let my guard down. I rest too long, thinking that the feeling of accomplishment will last forever. Then, I open my eyes and realize that I missed something. I could have kept going and accomplished more. I could have started something new while in that moment of elation. I'm not saying its wrong to rest after a huge battle is won. Its just that being ready to get up and go at it again is where I seem to falter. I always realize after the fact and feel like kicking myself. I couldn't see the value of riding that wave of success.
So how do we deal with blind spots in our lives? How can we overcome these areas that seem to trip us up? How can we avoid a traffic hazard?
First, I think honest prayer is essential. Its hard to ask God to show you something about yourself. Coming to God about our weaknesses is not always easy. We want to present ourselves to God with no faults. Often we forget His grace and mercy. It is also a form of confession. Admitting to God that we don't have it all together. Confessing that we need Him to show us where we might be falling short. It can be painful, because God WILL answer this prayer. He will show you where you need to change. In fact, He wants to show you so that He can give you the power to change it. That's the best part, He won't show you your mistakes and then leave you alone to deal with them. He'll show you His grace and help you to make it right.
Romans 8:26 says "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us." You don't have to deal with yourself alone.
Next, ask someone you trust. The Bible says that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Its a metaphor for how friendship works. The ability to ask a close friend what they think is risky. You are putting trust on the line. However a true friend can give you a clearer view of what you may not see (Proverbs 27:6). It's like having someone ride shotgun with you. If someone was in the front seat next to me while I was driving the cruiser, I could always ask them to double check that blind spot. I knew that they could see what I could not. It helped me to avoid many a collision. Make sure you have those kind of people in your life. God will use them to answer your prayer to Him. Proverbs 27: 9 says "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice."
Lastly, you need to be able to admit you have those areas that can derail you. After asking God, after asking a friend, its up to you to say "Yeah, I need to change that." The ball will end up in your court. You can choose to deal with it, to make an effort to be aware of that part of yourself, or you can ignore it. I've witnessed both scenarios. When people decide to ignore it, its tragic. Mistakes are made, wrong paths are chosen, and choices have negative consequences. When people adjust, no matter how painful or difficult it may be to face, they grow, they avoid pitfalls, they become better. Song of Solomon 2:15 talks about catching the small foxes that spoil the vineyard. You have to get rid of the little things that nip at you. The small or large issues that hold you back. They keep you from growing, from bearing good fruit. From being a whole, successful person.
So what's your blind spot? Do you have any idea? Are you willing to find out? If you want to see your life transformed, begin by asking these questions prayerfully. That is a good place to start. Its not just about surrender its about recognizing who you are. Be blessed! God has so much for you, get on your knees and find out what it is.
I've been thinking a lot about blind spots in life. Lately I have analyzed our lives in ministry. I have begun to realize that people have spiritual weaknesses that can cause extremely risky behavior. It can be something that they are totally unaware of. It can be something they chose to ignore. It can be something that they downplay because they don't think it is a big deal. A lot of the time, the only way to see over the obstruction is to take a good hard look inside.
It takes courage and faith. Let's face it, no one wants to admit what their weaknesses are, whether they are big or small, major or minor. The reality is we all have them. One of mine, is when I have had a breakthrough in my life. I have worked really hard and finally accomplished something, or have seen a big challenge through. It is when I sit down feeling victorious and accomplished that I let my guard down. I rest too long, thinking that the feeling of accomplishment will last forever. Then, I open my eyes and realize that I missed something. I could have kept going and accomplished more. I could have started something new while in that moment of elation. I'm not saying its wrong to rest after a huge battle is won. Its just that being ready to get up and go at it again is where I seem to falter. I always realize after the fact and feel like kicking myself. I couldn't see the value of riding that wave of success.
So how do we deal with blind spots in our lives? How can we overcome these areas that seem to trip us up? How can we avoid a traffic hazard?
First, I think honest prayer is essential. Its hard to ask God to show you something about yourself. Coming to God about our weaknesses is not always easy. We want to present ourselves to God with no faults. Often we forget His grace and mercy. It is also a form of confession. Admitting to God that we don't have it all together. Confessing that we need Him to show us where we might be falling short. It can be painful, because God WILL answer this prayer. He will show you where you need to change. In fact, He wants to show you so that He can give you the power to change it. That's the best part, He won't show you your mistakes and then leave you alone to deal with them. He'll show you His grace and help you to make it right.
Romans 8:26 says "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us." You don't have to deal with yourself alone.
Next, ask someone you trust. The Bible says that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Its a metaphor for how friendship works. The ability to ask a close friend what they think is risky. You are putting trust on the line. However a true friend can give you a clearer view of what you may not see (Proverbs 27:6). It's like having someone ride shotgun with you. If someone was in the front seat next to me while I was driving the cruiser, I could always ask them to double check that blind spot. I knew that they could see what I could not. It helped me to avoid many a collision. Make sure you have those kind of people in your life. God will use them to answer your prayer to Him. Proverbs 27: 9 says "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice."
Lastly, you need to be able to admit you have those areas that can derail you. After asking God, after asking a friend, its up to you to say "Yeah, I need to change that." The ball will end up in your court. You can choose to deal with it, to make an effort to be aware of that part of yourself, or you can ignore it. I've witnessed both scenarios. When people decide to ignore it, its tragic. Mistakes are made, wrong paths are chosen, and choices have negative consequences. When people adjust, no matter how painful or difficult it may be to face, they grow, they avoid pitfalls, they become better. Song of Solomon 2:15 talks about catching the small foxes that spoil the vineyard. You have to get rid of the little things that nip at you. The small or large issues that hold you back. They keep you from growing, from bearing good fruit. From being a whole, successful person.
So what's your blind spot? Do you have any idea? Are you willing to find out? If you want to see your life transformed, begin by asking these questions prayerfully. That is a good place to start. Its not just about surrender its about recognizing who you are. Be blessed! God has so much for you, get on your knees and find out what it is.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
New Title new year
Okay, so I have had a major case of blogger's block. Looking for an identity, and trying to figure out what to write about. I always have a lot going on in my head. Usually I'm pretty random. This is apparent in the frequency of my writing and the subjects I choose to write about. I'm not going to make a new resolution that the trend is going to change. I'm a bipolar blogger. With all that said, I still love writing and sharing. My goal is to write every week. I want to encourage, to tell stories, to share my crazy life, to share my opinions, and most of all to share my faith.
The previous title, Ministry, Motherhood, and the USA was a great start for me, because those are all my main focuses. As I thought about it however, I really wanted a different title. For weeks I have been going over different titles. I researched other blogs and what the author's chose to name them. I couldn't come up with anything original. Nothing was really setting right with me. Even the title I did change it to Transforming Erica, seemed, weird. So sitting here I went to the edit screen and thought well I'm going to leave it blank for now until I get something good. Unfortunately, I couldn't just leave it blank, the screen wouldn't let me. So I typed 'work in progress' in the Title bar. Almost like its under construction. Then as I looked at it, I realized, that's pretty much it. That is my life and my journey. So I decided to go with it. I am a work in progress and in fact we all are. It is a journey that takes many turns, many ups, and many downs. It never really ends. We never stop growing or moving or changing. So that's it. The new title. I hope you stay tuned! Its going to get exciting!
The previous title, Ministry, Motherhood, and the USA was a great start for me, because those are all my main focuses. As I thought about it however, I really wanted a different title. For weeks I have been going over different titles. I researched other blogs and what the author's chose to name them. I couldn't come up with anything original. Nothing was really setting right with me. Even the title I did change it to Transforming Erica, seemed, weird. So sitting here I went to the edit screen and thought well I'm going to leave it blank for now until I get something good. Unfortunately, I couldn't just leave it blank, the screen wouldn't let me. So I typed 'work in progress' in the Title bar. Almost like its under construction. Then as I looked at it, I realized, that's pretty much it. That is my life and my journey. So I decided to go with it. I am a work in progress and in fact we all are. It is a journey that takes many turns, many ups, and many downs. It never really ends. We never stop growing or moving or changing. So that's it. The new title. I hope you stay tuned! Its going to get exciting!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)