Family heritage part 1

So, I have been mulling over what I'm going to bring to the blog about family. I had an entire three paragraphs written and then second guessed it and erased it. However, family has been on my mind and so as a testimony to God's grace and faithfulness, I want to share about my upbringing in this first part. I will share about my husband's in the next blog. 

The holiday get together's brought all of these ideas to mind. We see family more and reconnect. We are also able to appreciate our backgrounds and all that it means for who we have become. I have just observed the many aspects of my childhood that have made me who I am today. 

I have been called a Pentecostal princess, which makes me laugh out loud, I'm like church royalty. Both of my grandfathers were preachers and my parents also went into the ministry. My grandmothers, aunts and uncles, cousins, all for the most part grew up in the church. Even when I went to Bible school, all the teachers knew who I was because of my heritage and my grandparents. Growing up in a Christian home was amazing. I grew up learning about the love of God, and was fortunate to have parents who truly loved Him. My parents were very real with us. They didn't act one way when we were at church and one way at home. These expectations made for an environment that helped me to be myself. 

Now just to be clear, not all parents or upbringings are perfect. There were pros and cons to how I was brought up. The pros were the open relationship with my parents, and their unconditional love for us. The great relationships I developed with my brothers. Being brought up in a morally secure environment that taught me how to live healthy and wisely. Unfortunately, there are certain things that cannot be taught, they must be learned (especially since I'm pretty stubborn and hardheaded). Growing up in a strict christian environment and my desire to do what was right often shielded me from the reality that I wasn't a good person. We all have a tendency to do what we want, be rebellious, and test the waters. I wasn't really that kid. I wanted to please my parents, I wanted to please God, and I wanted to be right all the time. These aspects of my personality are not bad things, but I developed a sense that I was a good person and better than others.

 As I got older, moved out of the house and went onto to have my own life, career, and family,  I carried these views of myself  with  me. It wasn't until about 5 years ago, when things started getting tough in the everyday of life, that the "real" me came out. I mean the part of me that was no longer shielded by a christian upbringing, the part of me that wanted to rebel, wanted to test the waters. These thoughts and ideas shocked me. I wasn't supposed to think this way, or want to rebel. I was supposed to be a good person. It took me a long time to finally realize that yes I had a great testimony. I had an awesome upbringing, but I needed Jesus just like everyone else.I pretty much would be a wretched mess without Him. I recently mentioned during a worship service at church that I was lost and I didn't even know it. All of a sudden I understood the grace of God, and honestly I'm still learning. Years of thinking highly of yourself is not easily undone, but humility is one of God's greatest tools. 

My family is amazing. My parents are Godly people who have followed Jesus and taught me how. I wouldn't take back my childhood for the world. When the bible says to train up a child in the way they should go, I am a testament to that. I have struggled with my relationship with God. I have had moments of serious doubt and frustration. However, I don't see how I could ever walk away from Him. I have seen to much. I have experienced to much. Don't get me wrong, everyone can walk away. I would even venture to say that at times I have without even realizing it. At times I have been blinded by a religious bubble that keeps me thinking I'm okay. No one can teach you how to have a relationship with God, that is something that you must come to on your own. If there is anything that I have learned from my family life it is this, no matter what my parents did or taught me, my relationship with God is on me. I have to know Him myself. The faith of my mother and father alone cannot save me, the prayers of my Godly grandparents couldn't save me, it is only the grace of God and His love that could do that. It was by His grace that I was born to my parents, and it is by His grace that I can write about my experience. I am excited to share a little about Bill's upbringing next to show some contrast so stay tuned. All in all Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind...He knows the plans he has for us...God bless and good night. 

Coming soon...a Godly Heritage...

Stay tuned, this post is all about Family and how it shapes us. It is going to be a tribute to our families and our separate upbringings. How they shaped us. In light of the holiday's and numerous family get together's this subject matter has been on my mind. :)