Hungry and Thirsty

Today, I was thinking about how it feels when I don't spend time reading the Bible or Praying. It gave me my idea for this weeks blog.

You see, there was a time in my life where I could go without reading the Bible and praying. GASP! I know, it seems kind of crazy to say. It started in Bible college where I was so immersed in Bible study, and chapel services that I found it easy to put personal time with God on the back burner. I got out of the habit and then struggled with it for years after. I was constantly praying and asking God to forgive me for not praying and not reading. It had become legalistic in my mind and I felt guilty about it a lot. I made up all kinds of excuses. I have no time. I'm to tired or to busy. At the end of the day, I would feel so guilty and have no desire to even try to spend time with God.

I began to feel really far away, really empty. I knew why, but I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I was never going to get it right. I would say I was going to do it and be good for a couple weeks. Then my schedule would throw me off  and then I was back where I started. I was frustrated and feeling guilty.

Then something changed. I'll explain in a moment, but first I want to say that I just started really simple. I got an iphone. What does that have to do with a devotional and prayer life you ask? Well, I got a Bible app on my phone and it would remind me to read my Bible everyday. It was like an electronic accountability partner. My phone would beep at me and I would be reminded. I didn't do it everyday at first, but over time I began to feel it when I hadn't done it. I felt...hungry.

The emptiness that I had for the years that I had neglected to make time for the Lord was being filled. My malnourished soul was day by day being replenished. I was hearing from God, I was learning more about Him. All alone, I had formed opinions about God and what He thought of me based on partial knowledge, not the truth of His word. He was showing me who He really was and opening my eyes to see truth. The crazy part was, I had allowed myself to become anorexic in my relationship with God. When I started to read His word consistently and pray I did it in small amounts. Almost like a baby drinking milk. I was at the beginning again.

Today, my Bible app still helps me, but rarely do I go a day without spending time with God. The reason why is because I literally feel hungry and thirsty. I'll get to the end of my day and if I haven't read or prayed, I feel it. It comes down to this. It is about connecting with God himself. When I was young, I had deep meaningful experiences with God that solidified my hope and my faith in His truth. Those experiences were like a really expensive meal that I couldn't possibly pay for everyday. Example, when Bill and I were on our honeymoon, we had a 5 course meal at a very expensive restaurant. I mean like 100 dollars a plate, harp player in the background, Bill had to wear a suit jacket, and me an evening dress. It was no joke. There is no way we could have paid for a meal like that every day. It's the same with God, He gives us amazing once in a lifetime experiences with Him but that doesn't keep us connected. We have to eat everyday. We have to drink everyday.

There is no special formula and in truth, I started by taking 5 minutes a day. Now I can't go a day without thinking about it. I can't go a day without feeling my need for God. I can't go a day without praying. I used to think I could go a day without and maybe I could, but the key to my devotional life now is, I don't want to go a day without Him. I want to know Him more, know His word, and know His spirit is with me when I pray.

I challenge those who take time to read my blog, if there is anything you can do for yourself, for your walk with God it's take the time for Him. It doesn't matter where you start, it doesn't matter how you failed in the past, there is no right way. Its just a choice to get that app, pick up that Bible, or go to that Bible study. Your soul needs Him, you are hungry and thirsty. Feed your self!

John 4:13,14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst."

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

*If you don't know where to start on your spiritual diet I suggest reading plans on your Bible app. Often it's the 'Where do I begin' question that stumps us.