own definition of normal, well behaved, good, and our standards for our kids become based on our own comfort, pride, and ability. A couple of weeks ago, I was struggling with how I was treating my children and how they were acting. I was extremely frustrated and like a whiny, ungrateful child I was complaining and wishing that life could just be easier.
It was in the incredible providence of God, that on a Sunday in the middle of all of this, our wonderful, sensitive pastor preached an entire message on parenting God's way. The phrase that stuck out for me during that message struck me so profoundly. He said, "God has given you your children so that you can come closer to Him." All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with the love of God. I realized that as frustrating as it may be sometimes to be a parent, God has given me my kids not only to bring them up, but because He is bringing me up. He loves me so much He doesn't want me to stay the same, He is using my kids to make me who I'm supposed to be. The best version of myself. I'm going to quote myself from a Facebook post I made shortly after this revelation.
"'Everything God gives us in life, whether our children, circumstances, spouses, jobs,triumphs and tragedies are to bring us closer to Him. To lean on Him and find strength and refuge in a real relationship with God. Some say, He doesn't give us more than we can handle. The reality is He wants to handle it, but He gives it to us so we can get on our knees and give it back."
all God's way of changing me. How could I place unrealistic expectations on my 6,4 and 1 year
old, when I am not exemplifying love and grace and mercy to them?
For so long, I have looked high and low for a divine calling. To go to the far ends of the earth and serve other cultures, or to stand on a street corner preaching shamelessly, or to give my life up for the gospel. Those are noble callings and many have been called to that. But then I remember what the beginning of 1 Corinthians 13 says:
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains,but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
If I do not love my God and love those He has put in my care, all the other stuff I do doesn't matter. If I don't allow God to work in me and the love of God to change me all the ministry and sacrifice I make would be for naught.
Literally, a week after all of this revelation, I began to change my approach with my kids. The change in my oldest son Caleb, was remarkable. He tends to have a difficult time in school, but I received an amazing report that his behavior had improved and he was doing much better all around. The love and revelation of God is beyond comprehension. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how to change us and transform us. I am extremely grateful that He loves me enough to allow me to struggle so that I can surrender to Him and allow Him to change me.
Hebrews 12:5-6
5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,6
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
