Testimony Turmoil

I was born into a Pastor's home. My parents loved me. They strived to show me who Jesus was and to teach me how to follow Him. I was 7 years old when I gave my heart to Jesus. That is when I really remember the change that God made in my life. Although, I may have excepted Him sooner, I remember being 7 and responding to an altar call when an evangelist visited our church. From that time on, although I was just a child, I was always hungry for God. My life was embroiled in all things church. I was literally there whenever the doors were open. I was in girls programs, choirs, and church plays. I loved it. I learned to play the piano very young and started lessons when I was 5 years old. I loved to sing and worship God. As I grew older, I had many experiences that solidified my faith and relationship with God. I went to a girls ministry retreat or a Powette (that's what they called it in the 80's) and there I was filled with the Holy Spirit. My heart was always open to God. I always wanted to do right. The fledgling teen years came upon me and my family made a pretty significant move. We were in a much smaller town and had gone from a more urban community to an upper class suburban town. The ministry there was hard. My parents went through a lot. Still, I wanted to serve God. My parents were very good at protecting us from the difficulties of what they were going through, while being very real with us at home. They were not one way in church and one way at home. They loved us in both environments and expected the same from us in both places. I will always be eternally grateful for this. It was in this loving environment, that my faith and love for Christ was born. I was able to see the goodness and love of God. It was much easier to accept Christ and the truth of the gospel in my home. It was in my own personal devotions, at a young age, that God spoke to me about going into ministry. However in my teen years, I fought it. I thought about doing other things and pursuing other career options. It was after a difficult church situation, that my parents left the ministry they were in and started attending another church. While there, the Church hired a youth pastor. It was under his ministry, that I was able to learn how to have a deeper relationship with Christ. The discipleship at this point in my life, helped me to make the ultimate decision to go to Bible College and pursue God's call on my life. God has been good to me. He protected me from a lot and He showed me His goodness at a very young age. It is because of this that I don't think I could ever turn away. There have been hi's and lows in my life. After Bible College and into marraige and ministry. I have faced many things. If it wasn't for the faith of my youth, I don't think I would be the person I am today or be able to live the life I have.

For years I have always looked down on my testimony. I think that often in the church a good testimony has been revered and praised. Look what God has done! Look how far they have come! Look what God saved them from! I have always felt inadequate.

Now many of you may say, why do you look down on your testimony. The simple answer is that I have always felt like it would be irrelevant to reaching people. I'm in the ministry, I'm supposed to relate to people and be able to be understanding, and yet I don't have a way to do that. Getting right down to it, my testimony is not common, its uncommon. Not many people have had what I had. I don't say this in a proud way, I just realize that many people have experienced so much more than I have whether by choice or not by choice.

Fast forward to today. A little over a week ago we took our students to our yearly convention. While there, I offered all of my insecurities to God. Simply saying, Lord I feel inadequate, like I don't have anything to offer. I instantaneously sensed the Lord saying to me, You need to love people like I would love them. There is a common thought today in the church that in order to reach people you have to have experienced what they have in order to understand them. This is a lie. A lie I listened to. I, just like everyone else who is a Christian, have been saved by the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have been shown the love of God and have experienced His deliverance. It happened differently for me then others. However, everyone has a story. What I have to offer is myself as a lover of God. Then in turn love others. That is what the Bible commands us to do. To Love Him and love others. He has given me the ability to show His amazing love to others. Wow! It is so awesome that I can do that. It is so awesome that I can share this precious gift. It doesn't matter where I came from it just matters what I have to give and that is His Love.  

I have been freed from the notion that I had to live a rough past in order to reach people. I can be myself and reach others. Today, if anyone who reads this needs prayer or needs encouragement, please know that I love you and am willing to pray for you. Lastly, my question for you is this. What is your God story? What has He brought you from and where is He taking you? Be Blessed today!