Rant of the week: Silly Me

So I had a great rant subject and I wrote an entire blog about it last night. But it was so late that after reading it I just didn't want to publish it. I woke up this morning feeling silly because I should have kept it up. Now I lost the entire transcript (because I didn't save it). Attempting to rewrite it at this point would be a futile attempt since I was in the zone and I think it wouldn't be as good as the first time around. So, this may seem lame but I'm going to wait until next week to write on a new subject. Maybe with a clear head I can say how I feel intelligently without second guessing myself. Have an enjoyable weekend!

Making me a house wife

I've never really pictured myself as a typical housewife, cooking, cleaning, organizing, staying home with  the children, and being super mom.  My husband Bill and I have been in fast moving ministry for over ten years. We have worked in 3 different churches and in the middle of it had a successful evangelistic traveling ministry. When we were first in ministry, before we had children, we lived a fast paced life. We ate out a lot, we went out a lot and we spent a lot of time with our students which equaled long late nights. We put all of our time into our ministry. The last thing on my mind then was cleaning my house, cooking dinner, and keeping a budget. I didn't really think these things were that important.

After we had our first child, we were still going strong. We were working a lot, my husband doing construction and preaching every weekend. All the while I was working at night 4 to 5 nights a week. Our life continued to feel like it was in overdrive. There was no stopping us or slowing us down, we were following God's call, but I was missing a part of His call on me. Then came our second child. We continued to live our lives the way we wanted. Yes we had our kids, and we were focused on putting them first but I still neglected the house in many ways. I was sacrificing the organization and needs of our household in order to keep living a life involved in ministry. I felt guilty about putting the house stuff on the back burner but it didn't really phase me, not yet.

I didn't realize that I was sacrificing the basic needs of my house, for my own desire to have a personal ministry platform. I was trying to having it all with no balance at all. I believe now with balance and time management you can be a part of the things you want to. I didn't get that then. On the one hand the ministry was successful and thriving but my house was a train wreck. It wasn't clean, the laundry was not done, the clutter continued to build up and the dishes were building up fast. Cleaning to me was a drag, it didn't seem to be a part of my great purpose. "I'm not called to stay at home and do nothing." was the false assumption that I had adopted.

Well, I say all of this to say that I WAS WRONG! Being a housewife is not a bad thing, its not an inferior calling. I was so wrong to consider this beneath me or my skill.  The truth is, I have a lazy streak. For the longest time, it was just about doing enough to get by and then continue to go all out for ministry. I realized that I need to go all out in ALL area's of my life. Even the things that might not be my favorite.

Honestly this is a fairly recent revelation for me. My husband recently had surgery.  I realized that with the kids starting school again and with him being unable to contribute to the running of the house, I would have to step it up. As I began to get up a lot earlier to get the kids to school, and began taking inventory of my house, I realized that I had a lot of catching up to do. So I started to clean out the clutter. I realize that so many things had built up. I hadn't been doing my job. I had neglected a key part of my role as a wife and a mom. It was time to change. It was time to fight the desire to sit down, it was time to humble myself and become ALL that I was supposed to be not just half of myself. As I began to improve my consistency with cleaning and keeping house, I started to realize that there was potential in me that I hadn't seen before. Potential to be balanced and focused and organized. I honestly had given up on these things for myself. I had watched other women that seemed to have the keeping house thing down, and I had just thought that there was no way I could do all that and keep doing ministry the way I wanted. Again, I WAS SO WRONG!

It finally came down to a conversation I had with Bill right before his surgery. I was getting really stressed, wondering how I was going to keep it all together during the recovery and physical therapy. He simply said to me, "You have more to give...", basically its time to put your game face on. I don't say all this to say I have arrived, the lazy streak in me has to keep me humble. I have to remember what its like to sit on the couch all day looking at Facebook or catching up on a bazillion shows and then at the end of the day realize that I have accomplished nothing and have a messy house. I have to remember how it felt to see myself as a failure because I wasn't being all that I could be, not just as a minister but also a housewife. This has been a balance that has taken me years to understand. Thank God he is helping me to do that. Anyhow, I say all this to say, God truly does pull back layers to reveal all of who we are supposed to be. He has made me a bonafide housewife and I'm okay with it. Peace!

Rant of the Week: Playing the Field

Today, I was browsing the net and reading random articles, which I do occasionally, when I found one about a young actor who has a reputation for "playing the field." All I could think as I was reading this was, "Do women look like a big grassy football field that guys just think they can run all over, catching balls, and making touchdowns on?"

Now I could go on ranting about how guys shouldn't treat women like that, or talk like that, or act like that but really whose to blame here? Are women giving into the game? Are they lowering their standards? Are they allowing themselves to be 'played'? Yup, they definitely are. I get it women have been disrespected and treated unequally and used for thousands of years, but we live in a society where we have a lot more power over that. We don't have to be played. We have opportunity, choice, and ability to live our own lives separate from cultural expectations.

Our culture lowers its expectations on women, making us appear lose and easy. They rejoice when women reveal a lot, exclaiming that they are comfortable, confident, and sexy. All the while giving props to the players. Young men are encouraged to be this way, to get out there, and try a lot of women out. Just another notch in a belt. Really? Encouraging young men to use women, and encouraging women to appear usable. All that's left is a lot of damaged people. Men who don't know how to really treat a lady, and women who don't know how to be one.

What happened to the days when hands were kissed, doors were opened, chairs were pulled out, and women were honored? Is that really old fashioned? To me, those are signs of value and respect.Women look at guys who do these things as weirdos. Thinking the guy is old fashioned or weak. What happened to ladies and gentlemen? In my estimation we are stuck as boys and girls who are playing a game that teaches neither respect or value to the opposite sex. How do we fight these backward cultural issues? How can we overcome these lies?

Well for one thing, we can teach our children. Being the mother of three boys, I realize the importance of teaching them that playing a field is all about a game with a ball and team mates. That treating a girl with respect is more important than looking at them as an object. One of the best things about being a youth pastor with my husband is watching the culture change. Is teaching students the value of respecting one another. Respecting the opposite sex. Watching them defend one another and protect their sisters and brothers. There is hope people! There is the opportunity for change. We must be active in the change, and see our culture transformed!

Oops Miley did it Again!!!!

The last couple weeks it seems that all people can talk about is Miley Cyrus. OMG did you see what Miley did on her new video. What the heck is this new Twerking thing about? What happened to Hannah Montana? People can't get over how shocking, disturbing, gross, promiscuous this young girl who used to be a role model for little girls has become. 

Tonight, at work, not surprisingly, the whole subject came up...AGAIN. At first I rolled my eyes and yelled, "SHE NAKED that's why people are watching this junk, not because she can sing good." All of the sudden I stopped and a crazy thought hit me. People want to watch this garbage. Okay so this might seem obvious to everyone but it really isn't. Everyone cries out in disgust when things come out like this. "Did you see?" "What a slut?" "Can you believe that she....?" People make statements, and organizations protest and people get all up in arms. It all comes down to this....people want to watch this stuff. There is something inside everyone of us, whether curiousity or a desire to see something bad that draws us to these types of entertainment. Then after we have indulged ourselves we cry out in disgust or anger or whatever our reaction will be. 

Okay so what is my point about blogging about this? The reaction of people is not going to change what she did, or what Madonna did, or Britney, or Gaga, and the list could go on and on. If I continue to give my attention to this it will never go away.

Don't get me wrong this isn't about judging these people, you know why because that's not my job. This is about taking an honest look at myself and my own motives for even wanting to see something like this. I am a hypocrite. I can cry out in disgust and gasp in shame but I was the one who CHOSE to watch this. I heard it wasn't good, I still watched it. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be edifying but I did it anyway. So who is really wrong? Is Miley really the only guilty party here? I think not. I believe we all are. We have created a society that says if you do something shocking and disturbing you are going to get attention. We cry out in outrage at the very thing we have created. Hypocrites! 

Psalm 141:4 Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in wicked deeds along with those who are evildoers: do not let me eat their delicacies. 

To change the trend I must change, I must resist the urge to satisfy my desires. Most of all, when I do, I need to be willing to repent and not cry out in outrage, because I'm the one who chose to take part in it.

Rant of the week! 

But even if He doesn't...

So right at this moment, I'm sitting in the recovery room with my husband who just had surgery to repair his ACL. He's a little woozy and sleepy so while I wait, I 'm thinking and writing my next blog post by hand in my journal. So hopefully as I translate my terrible freehand into times new roman, this blog will reach someone today.

Often in Sunday school we hear the story of the fiery furnace with wide eyes and childlike faith. We are amazed that God saved those three guys with the weird names from being burned alive. As I began reading this chapter again for the umpteenth time however, I discovered more than I had ever seen before.  I was amazed with the way the Shadrach Meshach, and Abednego responded to the king's threats.

Now these days, "Why God?" crosses my mind a lot more often than I care to admit. When I see tragedy, sickness, rumors of war, children being abused, hopeless pointless living, and lack of purpose, I am flabbergasted. So "Why God" seems  to be my only response to all of this. However, when I read the way three young men dealt with their imminent death it helped me put into perspective a life lived in faith no matter what.

Now understand, for these three guys bowing down to the King.s image was a violation of their Jewish tradition, so they had a choice in front of them. That was to do what all of society was doing and in one moment sacrifice their integrity to save their lives or to face the penalty. Humbly and respectively this is how they responded.

17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

Daniel 3:17-18

A lot of times we focus on how these guys were willing to stand up and die for what they believed in and that is noble and valid. What I saw that really helped me was the phrase "But even if He doesn't...". Its not that they were not afraid to die, or not distressed with their situation, it was how much faith and hope they had in God that whether He saved them or not, they would not give in. 

So all my why God questions in one moment may have not been answered specifically but I was given a perspective that helped me to deal with it. God, even if I live or die, even if there is sickness and death, even if there is tragedy and hopelessness, I still believe in You, I will obey You and I won't give in. We have the power to hope in a God who loves us. We have the power to overcome fear of death, with hope in life. Even if the outcome isn't ideal or even deliverance, we can stand in hope that God is the ultimate. The alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. That is what Shadrach and Meschach and Abednego seemed to understand. Living there heritage, their faith, their integrity and trusting God was more important in that moment than death even if God didn't swoop in and save them. I would challenge any of you reading today that when you start to despair in life, you say Even if he doesn't, I will believe.  If everything around looks like its falling apart, look up and say one way or the other, I will trust you. There is freedom and victory in confidently declaring the sovereignty of God. 

Live full of Hope today! God has given you the power to!

A Wicked Long Time

I know its been a WICKED long time sing I have written in my blog. I basically took the summer off. Now that the kids have gone back to school, I seem to have a lot more time to write. I'm going to change the title of my blog, simply because I think I have changed in my priorities for what I want to write about. As much as I love talking about politics, I find that it can be pointless at times to rant about something that at times seem completely out of control.

 So there are a couple things I really want to focus on going forward. First and foremost, the Word of God. I love the Bible, I love learning new things, I love when the Holy Spirit clarifies a portion of scripture for me and changes me on the inside, and I pretty much love Proverbs. I think if people would follow proverbs they would be the most successful people on the planet. So I want to focus on that. I'm going to continue to share my parenting experiences, marriage and ministry because frankly that is my life and I want to share that with people. I hope that you all will tune in, be encouraged, and laugh. 

So now my question for you all is this, I don't know what to change my blog title to, so I'd love some ideas. If anyone has any send them my way. I'm looking forward to relaunching and sharing my life with you guys!