This is going to be one of those posts that may seem kind of scattered. I'm going to try and bring it to a nice conclusion but I'm just going to start writing and see how it goes.
This week, the epic film Noah came out. I have to admit I paid attention to every Facebook post or article that came out about it. I checked out the critical reviews and read a bunch of friends thoughts on the movie. It made me want to see it. Like really bad. I still haven't. I think it is hilarious how people go from one extreme to the other to defend or discredit something like this. I love books and movies. I enjoy a great film. Especially a film based on a great book. (I'm kind of a fan girl when it comes to Hunger Games). Even though I haven't seen Noah yet, I find it interesting that many of my fellow believers either loved it or hated it. Personally, I believe expectations on a Biblically accurate movie done on such a large scale should be extremely low. Hollywood tends to spin or corrupt anything close to Christian or Bible based. However, people's perspectives are so different and it has been interesting to listen or read about it. I think what it comes down to is, decide for yourself. Oh, and make sure that you read the Biblical account first. Then it will be like going to a movie that is based on a book. If it's way off then it's way off. You shouldn't have super high expectations. If it's pretty close then, Hooray! Maybe there is hope that Hollywood may have unbiased directors and producers (although I highly doubt the latter) .
Hey I'm just being honest. This has got to be one of my least favorite excuses as of late. Months ago, I had b written an entire blog about honesty. I was super intense about it but felt like I was coming on strong. I didn't publish it. So here goes the abbreviated version. This has become a huge pet peeve of mine. Honesty is important, it's essential for trust, for love, for friendship, for work environments. I'm all about honesty. People who know me know that I tend to be honest to a fault. I would rather be truthful the not. The pet peeve part of this comes in when people use honesty as an excuse. I'm a horrible person but at least I'm being honest about it. Soooooo you think that gets you off the hook? Because your being honest about it? That is so noble. So good of you to admit that. Now what? The problem with saying, At least I'm being honest, is that there is no intention to change whatever it is your being honest about. It's a big old cop out. Honesty is the best policy after all. However by saying that, individuals are lying to themselves. They are pulling the wool over their eyes. They are trying to cover themselves with a general excuse that doesn't really make them a better or a honest person. So, the point of this little rant? Stop trying to be so honest when honestly you have no intention to be better than you are. I'm not saying lie, I'm saying keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear your honest assessment of yourself if your not going to try and change. That may have seemed harsh but honesty and true confession truly works with the intention to change, using it as an excuse is lame. I can be honest about my laziness, but I'm not going to try and make it all right by saying so. I'm going to strive to make myself better.
Identity. This is the best part about my entire week. This weekend I had the opportunity to lead worship at a women's conference. It was great. I love music, I love singing to and about God, and I love helping other people do it. While there, the speaker talked a lot about identity. Who am I? It is hard to take an honest look inside and face yourself. So often we are so many things. Different phases of life bring different roles. Sister, brother, friend, wife, husband, parent, coworker, student...who am I right now? Who am I supposed to be, how do I prioritize. The speaker talked about how a big move, forced her to look at her identity. Her husband's job changed and so they had to move which changed her job situation. It put her in a place where she was really evaluating her worth. I was profoundly moved because I feel like I go through that all the time. I'm Bill Kenna's wife, I'm Gordon and Becky's daughter, I'm Caleb, Riley, and Carson's mother. I'm Jered and Joel's sister. All of those id's are great but to God, I'm just Erica. He knew me before I was born. He loved me when He knew all my flaws and all my failures, all my talents and triumphs. It is in Him that I find out who I really am, and who He always intended me to be. I have struggled with the idea that I'm not the most beautiful or smart or talented. In my insecurities, I have been quicker to look at the negative and not the positive and yet... this is who God made me. His plan was perfect for me, even in my imperfection. God doesn't see me through the expectations of my society. He doesn't see me through a religious expectation. He's sees His creation. He's sees how to perfect it. That's why, I have to go after Him. How am I ever going to become what I'm supposed to be without my creator. What a relief to know that I haven't arrived yet. That my identity is not set in stone, that I don't have to use the excuse "I'm just being honest." I will become so much more than I am right now. I will become the picture that God is meticulously painting right now. When all is complete I'll be who I'm supposed to be. Who I am can be summed up when I've reached my home and can honestly look back and say, "God, that was what you saw all along?" What a joy to be living a journey. To be creating a story. To have the perfect author, to be myself.
Well, that's it. pretty much a week of thoughts and experiences summed up. Noah, what a guy, He obeyed and knew God. His identity may have been the guy who built a big boat and saved a bunch of animals. In the grand scheme of things, He obeyed God and was an instrument to foreshadow salvation and the power of God. Is that what your life might be used for? Honestly assess who you are and your identity. Strive, to become all that God wants for you, because like Noah, He may use you to transform the world.
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