So, I want to start this post off by saying that the last couple weeks I have been on a slippery slope. I recently wrote a post about how becoming a housewife was not so bad. In it I expressed my struggles with being lazy and how I felt God has really helped me to overcome these issues. Well, the last couple weeks, I began to let myself go a little. Now just to give myself a little grace, it has been really busy. My husband went away for a weekend. Then we went away together for a retreat. We were faced with a major home repair, and it's been a little overwhelming. That being said, I started to revert a little backwards. Taking more time for myself then I needed and putting the important needs of my home on the back burner. The result of course was frustration. Looking around and saying "I'm back here again?" This time I was faced with a decision to drown in a pool of pity or to simply get back up and start again. I had to put my priorities in order and remember that God helped me before and He will help me again. I say that all to say that I stopped blogging for a few weeks because I was out of sorts and wasn't really focused on writing. Now I'm back and actually very excited to keep sharing life with you.
The title of this post is the real reason why I wanted to write tonight. So here goes. I don't really see myself as a super discerning, or wise person. I believe that with age and life experience I have learned a lot and have grown in leaps and bounds in the common sense department. (Common sense hasn't always been my strong suite). For the most part I struggle in these important areas.
I read recently something on Facebook that said something like "20 ways to know you are Mentally Tough." When I read that, I was encouraged that I was okay in certain categories but overall not mentally muscular. Now before you all go thinking I'm being hard on myself, please hear me out. This introspection is not to tear myself down but rather to recognize what I should pray for and what God wants me to become.
Recently, I have begun to pray specifically for something from God. I have asked Him to make me a wise person. I literally have thought about Solomon and how He asked God for wisdom above all. Wisdom may not come naturally for me, but in reality it doesn't come naturally for anyone, because it comes from God. The bible literally says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Yesterday, as I was reading my devotions, I came across the story of Abigail. (1 Samuel 25) It tells the story of a woman who was so wise that she saved her family and had the foresight to avoid a major disaster. She was brave, she was humble, she was strong, and she was discerning. As I read her story I realized that this was who I wanted to be.
I am constant work of God. I want to be totally willing to change and be transformed. I don't want to stay the same or settle for a mediocre existence. I want to realize that I have potential and will always be clay in the hands of God. I don't want to harden myself. I don't want to buy the lie that I will always be this way. I want to be pliable and changeable. God wants us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Only He can help us realize that. I'm so encouraged that I'm a work in progress. That I will be wise, I will be discerning, and when I grow up I will be like Abigail.
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