The Doubter

Doubt. Its an extremely powerful thought pattern. It lead to fear and creates in us uncertainty. It puts us on a track of circular thinking that never gives us an answer. We can try to disprove it or try to calm it. Those thoughts just creep back in. Doubt causes a battle in us that makes it hard to believe in anything.

From a biblical perspective, I often wonder if Thomas was really a doubter because he didn't believe in God, or because he just didn't believe the people around Him. If it was the latter, then I certainly can relate. Based on the failures of people and the mistakes made in the church over centuries, its no wonder people doubt the reality of God. Through human error, and lack of understanding, humanity's doubtful view of an Almighty God is valid. Not only that, but Christian's (myself included) often allow those doubts to influence their faith.

Faith is not based on proof. Although there is enough evidence out there for the existence of God, Jesus, and His work throughout the world. Faith is stepping into an unknown place with all the hope within you because even though you can't see something...you KNOW it's there.

I know God is real. That is why when I screw up I feel terrible and when I don't change, its even worse. . The breath in my lungs is my hope that the next moment is another chance to change. Sometimes, I wonder if God is just going to throw in the towel and let me go, but He doesn't.

The reality is Thomas wasn't considered a doubter because he didn't believe his peers, or because he didn't believe in God, He was considered a doubter because he didn't believe in what he couldn't see or feel. Seeing is believing right? The only problem with that is, if everything I see around me is what I should believe in, then eek, what's the point.

I might not have all the answers. I might not know the details of how God created the world in 7 days, or why people die painful deaths, or how the Bible was written by so many people and yet still rings true. But I know this, that God is real. I see Him in the way He protects my children. I see Him in the love I share with my Husband. I see Him in my best friend who struggles with a terrible sickness but still refuses to give up on Her savior. I see Him in those who choose to stand for Him when no one else will. God is real and He shows it when we truly believe in Him. Doubting may seem easier. It may come easier but it leaves us empty and afraid. Giving our hearts and minds a chance to believe is what opens our spirits to the possibility that God is there.

Hebrews 11:1

 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, 

the evidence of things not seen.