Recent Romantic Notions

There are so many rant worthy subjects in my head right now. I don't know which one to settle on so I'll take a break from the rant of the week to share a recent revelation I've had. Its about romance. Its about the butterflies that you get and that seem to go away.

Okay so here's how it goes. You look into his eyes and BANG! He's the one. All you want to do is be with him. He makes your knees go weak and your heart beat really loud. Nothing can top the feelings and emotions of those first couple weeks, months, or even years! Then you get married, you have kids, you both get jobs, or your a state at home mom. All those feelings start to drown in the pool of life. The struggles of the day to day make it easy to see his faults. Going to bed becomes going to bed. Life settles into a rhythm, expectations go unfulfilled, and the first years are forgotten.

I'm not going to pretend like there is an easy way to escape this funk. I do believe there are small steps that keep romance and love alive. However, I'm not a self-help blog and I'm all about just coming to you from where I'm at. So I'll tell you what has helped me to overcome this funk that often happens in my own marriage. 

I realized, as I was thinking about this recently, that the expectations on love, romance, and feelings are unrealistic. Now this isn't something that comes as a complete surprise. I personally just want to keep my expectations because I love romance and romantic stuff. Let's get real though, when you first met that special someone, how stressful was your life? Everyone comes from different backgrounds and I know all circumstances are different, but one things is for sure that it was definitely a place where it was easy to fall in love. 

For me it was college. I didn't have to worry about finances, other than putting gas in my car and paying for my monthly college bill. At the time it didn't cost an arm and a leg. I could spend as much time as I wanted with Bill and I didn't have to give my time to anything else. The perfect set up for falling in love. Close proximity, away from the parents, and barely any responsibility. So I started thinking, I can never go back to that time in my life. My husband and I have experienced so much since then, our ministry, our children, our financial responsibilities and all the stress that comes with it.  Romance didn't die because of all these things...the circumstances just changed.

The other night, the kids were in bed, I was shuffling around the house, straightening up, I was about to take some dirty clothes or something upstairs, when I saw it. That look. The same one he has always had for me. Bill was gazing at me. His eyes full of love and admiration. I was stunned. How could I forget how it felt to be passionately loved and adored. How could I allow life and circumstances to cloud my vision? The romance never left, my perspective changed, and not for the better. I was in many ways convicted. I realized that I had allowed a false view of romance and expectations to give me amnesia. I couldn't remember how it felt because I wasn't paying attention. Love grows with time, contrary to popular belief. The only party that is guilty of allowing it to fade is the one who refuses to see it. The one who depends on a feeling or the past.

After 11 years of marriage, many ups and downs, many trials and joys. I am still in love. I'm still a romantic. It has not been lost in the hum drum of life but rather been enhanced by the life we share. Don't allow the lies of this present world to cloud your vision. Allow your eyes to be opened to what is real now.

Proverbs 5:18

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.