It kind of stinks when you realize that your the annoying person who always thinks you have to say something when someone is going through something difficult. Yeah, I realized this week I'm that person. I just took a step back and observed myself and realized that when I don't have an answer, I think talking is the only way to help the situation. Why do I do that? Its frustrating. Its a learning experience. It's realizing that sometimes there are just no words. You look up to the heavens above you and shut up.
Wisdom, is something that doesn't come easy for me, but it seems that when I ask for more of it, God is willing to help me grow. Learning to shut my mouth has always been a difficult thing for me. I've had to jam a sneaker in there more times than I can count. I think I have probably unknowingly said something stupid or hurtful to every one of my friends one time or another. This is getting real right now. Before this turns into a pity party, because wow for a moment there I was getting a little down, I have to thank God that He doesn't love me less for saying stupid things. He doesn't love me less because I don't always think first and speak second. This is not to say that its okay to do that, its just a relief to know that I'm on the potter's wheel.
So what's the point of this blog entry tonight. Well, I really felt like writing, doing some self-introspection, and grabbing a hold of hope. Hope that even though I can be hard headed, Jesus Christ can break through that stone. That even when I open my mouth and foolishness flows out, that He has so much grace for me. Grace to carry me to a transformation. I can lift my hands and praise Him because I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago and I won't be the same 10 years from now.
Life is excruciating and wonderful all at the same time when you serve and belief in God. Today I was talking to a friend about disciplining our children. It struck us both in that conversation that God disciplines those He loves, which is what the Bible says. We don't usually believe that, we get scared and think God is out to get us. The reality is, when we recognize the discipline for what it is, a chance to draw us to Him. A chance to become who we were meant to be. A chance to surrender. We are changed. The lack of wisdom I once had becomes a wealth of it. The moments I would open my mouth in foolishness become moments where I hold my tongue. The times I get defensive out of insecurity become a chance to find security in God alone.
This is all about recognizing the glory to glory that the Bible talks about. How far I've come and by grace how far I have to go. My heart is full of joy and is overwhelmed with the amazing life I have been given. At times a roller coaster, but mostly just an amazing adventure. Thank you Precious Lord for giving this to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment