I've never really pictured myself as a typical housewife, cooking, cleaning, organizing, staying home with the children, and being super mom. My husband Bill and I have been in fast moving ministry for over ten years. We have worked in 3 different churches and in the middle of it had a successful evangelistic traveling ministry. When we were first in ministry, before we had children, we lived a fast paced life. We ate out a lot, we went out a lot and we spent a lot of time with our students which equaled long late nights. We put all of our time into our ministry. The last thing on my mind then was cleaning my house, cooking dinner, and keeping a budget. I didn't really think these things were that important.
After we had our first child, we were still going strong. We were working a lot, my husband doing construction and preaching every weekend. All the while I was working at night 4 to 5 nights a week. Our life continued to feel like it was in overdrive. There was no stopping us or slowing us down, we were following God's call, but I was missing a part of His call on me. Then came our second child. We continued to live our lives the way we wanted. Yes we had our kids, and we were focused on putting them first but I still neglected the house in many ways. I was sacrificing the organization and needs of our household in order to keep living a life involved in ministry. I felt guilty about putting the house stuff on the back burner but it didn't really phase me, not yet.
I didn't realize that I was sacrificing the basic needs of my house, for my own desire to have a personal ministry platform. I was trying to having it all with no balance at all. I believe now with balance and time management you can be a part of the things you want to. I didn't get that then. On the one hand the ministry was successful and thriving but my house was a train wreck. It wasn't clean, the laundry was not done, the clutter continued to build up and the dishes were building up fast. Cleaning to me was a drag, it didn't seem to be a part of my great purpose. "I'm not called to stay at home and do nothing." was the false assumption that I had adopted.
Well, I say all of this to say that I WAS WRONG! Being a housewife is not a bad thing, its not an inferior calling. I was so wrong to consider this beneath me or my skill. The truth is, I have a lazy streak. For the longest time, it was just about doing enough to get by and then continue to go all out for ministry. I realized that I need to go all out in ALL area's of my life. Even the things that might not be my favorite.
Honestly this is a fairly recent revelation for me. My husband recently had surgery. I realized that with the kids starting school again and with him being unable to contribute to the running of the house, I would have to step it up. As I began to get up a lot earlier to get the kids to school, and began taking inventory of my house, I realized that I had a lot of catching up to do. So I started to clean out the clutter. I realize that so many things had built up. I hadn't been doing my job. I had neglected a key part of my role as a wife and a mom. It was time to change. It was time to fight the desire to sit down, it was time to humble myself and become ALL that I was supposed to be not just half of myself. As I began to improve my consistency with cleaning and keeping house, I started to realize that there was potential in me that I hadn't seen before. Potential to be balanced and focused and organized. I honestly had given up on these things for myself. I had watched other women that seemed to have the keeping house thing down, and I had just thought that there was no way I could do all that and keep doing ministry the way I wanted. Again, I WAS SO WRONG!
It finally came down to a conversation I had with Bill right before his surgery. I was getting really stressed, wondering how I was going to keep it all together during the recovery and physical therapy. He simply said to me, "You have more to give...", basically its time to put your game face on. I don't say all this to say I have arrived, the lazy streak in me has to keep me humble. I have to remember what its like to sit on the couch all day looking at Facebook or catching up on a bazillion shows and then at the end of the day realize that I have accomplished nothing and have a messy house. I have to remember how it felt to see myself as a failure because I wasn't being all that I could be, not just as a minister but also a housewife. This has been a balance that has taken me years to understand. Thank God he is helping me to do that. Anyhow, I say all this to say, God truly does pull back layers to reveal all of who we are supposed to be. He has made me a bonafide housewife and I'm okay with it. Peace!
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