Parenting for Sissies

I have found in my parenting journey that I'm kind of a sissy. When you are young and you have everything figured out. You have nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry about, and nothing to lose. Then you have children and all that changes.  The way you thought it was going to be is shattered into a million pieces and you begin to realize who you really are. You realize how self-centered you are, how impatient you are, how strong you really are and all because of the little infant that you hold in your arms in the hospital. How could something so small cause so much self introspection? The answer is, it doesn't end in that place, it is just the beginning. Now 6 years and 3 boys later, I'm still learning. 

Recently, I read an article about a woman who wrote a column saying that having kids was the biggest mistake of her life. Many people praised her honesty while others were disgusted by her lack of sensitivity. The truth is it takes courage to be a parent, and I'll be the first to admit that my courage has faltered often, more than I like to own. The desire for everything to appear perfect plagues me. I find myself getting frustrated because I just want my kids to be good, not struggle, to listen, to be perfect angels. I think I have mentioned in the past that I'm worried what people think about my kids. Maybe that is the way I was raised or just my own personal insecurities. Thank God He doesn't see me the way I see myself.

The truth is, I was supposed to be Caleb, Riley, and Carson's mom. I forget this all the time. God saw me and saw them and purposed that we walk this road together as Mother and sons. It is the plan of the enemy to make me feel unworthy or afraid. If it was truly God's plan for me to be their mom, then I have everything they need to become all that they are supposed to be. Does that mean I'm good the way I am? Probably not, I have a lot to learn and a lot to change, but the fact remains that my children were a gift from God and it is my responsibility to take care of this gift. 

So courage to raise them comes from my Father. I might not have all the tools or all the strength or all knowledge, but I do have a Heavenly Father who does. We have to remember that whatever God gives us to do, He WILL give us all that we need to complete the task. Even something like parenting. Sometimes, it takes laying down our own ideas about how it should be done and trusting the Word of God to give us all the wisdom we need. It gives us resolve, not to give up or call it quits or whine or complain but to trust that we will make it. That our children will make it. 

So even if I have been a sissy as a parent, the truth is I don't have to stay there. I don't have to be afraid. I have everything I need to be the parent I'm supposed to be.