Hearts, Husbands, and all things mushy...

"The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam..." "The Princess Bride

I just wanted to start with this hilarious excerpt from the classic movie "The Princess Bride" (Its weird to call it a classic, but it is that old.) I have always been a romantic. I loved romantic novels, romantic movies, romantic shows...if it was mushy, I loved it. My favorite movie as a girl was While You Were Sleeping starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. I was in love with love. In many ways that carried over into my dating life and my marriage. Romantic expectations that were a little excessive. I even wrote my own romantic story. Honestly, all of the ladies are this way deep down, I think life and hard circumstances force us to bury it deep down. I want to take a moment to plug the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, it is a great book that explores the heartbeat of womanhood.

With all that said, I love marriage. It is an awesome institution that was set up by God and brings a tremendous amount of security, personal growth, love, and children. Whenever I think about dating and all the work that went into that I just breath a sigh of relief. After 10 years being married to Bill, I can honestly say that it hasn't all been flowers and rainbows. My romantic notions were pretty much brought down a few notches after a couple years. It has been an amazing journey and the best part (and perhaps most romantic part) is learning how to love more. Those first feelings and the romance are just the surface to an amazing adventure if we allow ourselves to dive deeper. Going deeper into our relationships with our spouses brings us past the initial romantic roses and dinner dates and even sex. It helps us to learn to love a person for who they really are. It teaches us to except someone for all that they are, even the stuff we don't like. The best part is, that God knew the right person to help me to do that. Bill is not romantic at all...lol. He is very straightforward. Its not that he doesn't love me or want to make me feel romantic, its just that his idea of that is different then mine is. Time to plug another book, The 5 Love Languages, a great book for understanding the needs of your spouse. What has come from our differences is honest communication about our individual needs. That brings us closer together. We care enough to sit down and discuss the differences, instead of go our own separate ways unfulfilled just living to get by. Marriage should never be about just living with someone else, it was meant to be a fulfilling journey...yeah I like saying journey. 

For all the single ladies. I have observed two types of single ladies over the years in college and then through out my ministry. The first type are the ones that are always dating. Always have to have a man. They are never really single but never really settled. These women are always looking for that perfect guy. Yeah, the perfect guy thing is a lie. There are great guys out there, but not all great guys are perfect guys. I think my husband is awesome, but he is far from perfect. These needy ladies always seem to end up alone and unhappy. I'm pretty much going to throw this out there...lower your expectations. I don't mean go with whatever comes down the path, I'm saying lower YOUR expectations. Guys can't read your minds, and for us women to EXPECT them to is crazy. Let the guy be himself and you be yourself and if that isn't working, it probably isn't ever going to work. The second type of lady I came across is the "I don't need a man" type. Okay so here I go on the bandwagon. I don't believe in the whole idea that you are incomplete if your single and that in order to be complete you need a special someone (Sorry Jerry Maguire).  God created us all to be complete, individual people with dreams, and talents and amazing abilities, but that doesn't mean we shut a guy out because we don't want to "lose ourselves." When God brought Bill into my life, I was kind of on that, I don't need a man track, but then I fell head over heels in love. I struggled with it because I thought I was supposed to be the lone ranger but that wasn't what God had in mind for me. God didn't see me as incomplete, he saw my potential to enhance Bill's life and vice versa. He spoke so clearly to me about us being a team in ministry and how we would work together. God never said I would lose myself or be all submissive and unspoken and subdued. So for all the ladies that don't think they need a man, beware, your heart may truly desire that very thing, don't fight it. :)

So lastly, I just want to share my romance. I went to college completely ready to be single for a year (yeah that was a stupid pledge). So I show up to Zion (that is the school I went to) and I'm in the registration line which was hours long. I was sitting next to this guy named Ken. He was a nice guy and not bad looking (this is my 18 year old college mind going). We talk a little...kind of awkward since i was reeeaaalllly excited to be there and he was an upperclassmen (not so excited). All of a sudden, the doors to the room burst open, and I hear "KEN" from across the room. There he was, Bill Kenna, he had a mischievous flash in his deep green eyes and a huge smile from ear to ear. Yeah, I was smitten. He said hi to me in passing but he was really there to see Ken. Fast forward to a couple days later. I'm in chapel, and I saw my friend Julia from across the room and she was talking to Bill, so I meandered over to "talk" to her. She introduced us officially. The first thing Bill said to me was "Hey, I am probably the most arrogant person you are ever going to meet..." I replied... "I can tell". He laughed out loud. So we were off to an interesting start. I became friends with a kid in my class named Jason, come to find out, he and Bill were childhood best friends, so it wasn't long before we were all hanging out as friends. I have to say the beginning was pretty tumultuous. It was very up and down, as we became friends and got to know each other. There were several things I noticed that really made me fall in love with Bill. First, he was very straightforward, and I liked that. He was real, he didn't have anything to hide, and he was really cute. Second, he was always praying. I'm not saying this second because its less important, more because I learned this about him as we hung out. He was so intense about God, I wanted that same intensity. His prayer and his faith challenged me to step up to another level. It also matched my love and desire for God. I'll never forget the night we actually made our relationship "official". We had gotten really close, had our ups and downs, dated a little but I wasn't ready. So it was months after all my indecisiveness. We were in the library at school studying. We had both been praying about where to go with our relationship, and we started talking about our individual experiences. It became apparent that we were supposed to be together. The first thing we did is pray. We prayed that God would help us to know what His will was and to follow His direction for our lives. That was it. After that we dated for three years and were married after I graduated from college. There were many ups and downs but the reality I hold on to is the truth that God brought us together. We have not always been perfect, but God's ways are. I thank Him for all He has done and the life we have lived together. 

Many couples have a sappy song, I have to say we have a verse. Its 1 Corinthians 13:7,8a "It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Mawage....it really is amazing and I hope that if you are married you will take time to rediscover your love and passion. If you are not, I encourage you to be all that God wants you to be. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did writing it. God Bless.