September 24, 2014...that was the last day that blogged. Way more than 9 months ago. I can't even begin to tell you how much has happened since then. Yes, I'm still here! I have begun to miss writing. As I have said before, I always have stuff swirling around in my head and often I have no outlet. As I read my last insert, I realized it has been to long. It is also nice not to feel pressure either. A desire to write and share has slowly made its way back onto my long list of priorities.
I think blogging was somewhat of a trend I got caught up in because let's face it everyone wants to talk about themselves....so it seemed liked a good idea at the time. Trendy and selfish seem to be all the makings of a people pleasing hobby. Lol. I just wanted people to pay attention to me because I thought I had something darn good to talk about. (As I'm writing this I'm laughing at myself because I can't begin to tell you how true all of this is.)
So, maybe that's why I stopped. Not only because I don't like pressure, but also because I wasn't feeling the self fulfillment that comes from seeing all those people that tune in to see what I have to say. Let's face it I was looking for a way to feel good about myself. Maybe my original motive for creating a blog were less than beneficial for me or anybody else.
So now is time for a do over. What is the true purpose of writing and why do I want to do it and how could it benefit others? I guess venting is an okay reason, except selfish. Proselytizing, but let's face it there are tons of blogs that do that. I think more than anything I want to share life with anyone who wants to share life with me. To relate to people, to reach out, to care. RELATE!
We are not alone! We all struggle, question, pray, get answers. Get no answers. Keep going, keep living, keep working. Keep seeking to find the best life that God has for us! I want to show people that life and help others find it.
So, here's to starting over...again! I'm not going to change my title or theme or anything like that. I'm just going to keep being me! After all I'm still a work in progress.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
It's Time.
I don't know if it has been writer's block, or how crazy life has been, or lack of readership, but I haven't blogged in forever. Most of you who have read my blog know, I'm pretty random with subject matter and consistency. So this time I'm not making any promises. I find that when I do, I feel pressure. When it comes to writing I don't do well under pressure. Probably because I like writing and sharing, pressure takes the fun out of it. One of my close friends said to me sometimes you just need to write what is going on in your head, it is a way to solidify your ideas and make them more real. It is like I'm telling the world and confirming to myself how I feel and what I believe about things. Being myself.
So June 4th, was the last time I wrote. At that time, I had begun a study on the fruits of the Holy Spirit inspired by what my children were learning in their Children's Ministry at church. I'll strive to continue that study because I believe it is important to finish and I was inspired after all.
Tonight, however, I'm going to fill everyone in on my life the last four months. I'm going to hit just a couple things because after 4 months my mind has so many thoughts and ideas built up, I can't possibly do all of it justice in one night.
At the beginning of this year, technically on December 31st, I lost my job. I had worked for the company for 7 years even to the point where I was commuting 45 minutes to get there after we had moved farther away. I had grown to love the people and love the work. Although things at the job were not perfect, I was truly hurt when I lost the job. Now to keep from sounding unprofessional, please understand that I know that it wasn't personal, but after all that time and the camaraderie I had developed with my coworkers, it was very sad for me. I get attached to things I care about, its probably why I hold on so tightly. (I just admitted I can be clingy...eek)
The next 6 months were both wonderful and difficult all at the same time. For the first time since I turned 16, the first time since I had children I was not working (excluding maternity leave of course). The change in family life was unbelievable. I had so much time with everyone, I didn't have to request days off, or worry about not being able to do certain things. I could have girls nights with my friends and I could have date nights with my husband. I could literally drop everything and go with no worry about a job. It was great being able to just be with my kids, at times it was really trying because work to a certain degree was a break from home. After the initial adjustment there was a huge part of me that didn't want to go back to work.
Then the bills came, reality hit me pretty hard. As much as I loved being home, it didn't take long for us to realize that unemployment wasn't going to cut it and a difficult tenant situation was costing us more then it was supporting us. It is crazy how in this day and age being a stay at home mom is a difficult thing to do. Not to say that it is bad or beneath me or anything like that. In a financial sense, it has become almost unrealistic, unless your husband makes a lot of money. Now I do understand that good budgeting and cutting coupons etc can help to keep costs down, but let's be honest, when you have 3 or more children who has time for that? (Okay this is me talking from a purely bad time management standpoint). Also as homeowners, car payment holders, and still trying to get out of debt, tax payers the needs are there. In a perfect world I'm sure these things would not exist but in mine, they do.
So here I was looking for jobs. I went to restaurants all over looking for a job that I was qualified for and nothing came of it. Never had I been able to sympathize with the unemployed but now I totally got it. It was so difficult to get a job. Then came the point when it all changed. I simply prayed, Lord I need a job or else. It wasn't like a challenge to God to prove Himself. It was a desperate plea saying Lord you know what's up, so can you do something? So often I'm afraid to pray like that. I assume God already knows and why should I remind Him. Yet, at that point there was a true desperate plea. Similar to how the Israelites were when they were crying out for a saviour. God you have to do something. I know He already knows that but it was a point when I had to say I need a breakthrough. Nothing is happening, I can't make anything happen. Only You can.
So I picked myself up and kept looking. I kept putting the resumes in. Then there was a breakthrough. A new restaurant was opening and I was basically at a place where I had nothing else to lose. I applied and literally 2 hours after I sent the email I got a call from the manager. It was about a month of nail-biting and waiting but when I finally got the call that I had the job I literally jumped up and down like a little girl. It wasn't about being validated or needing a job to feel worth something. It wasn't about getting away from my kids. It was ultimately about the provision of God and His timeliness. It was about lessons learned over 6 months and a season to appreciate all that I had. It was a time to realize that He truly gives and takes away.
Over those six months, after every rejection and every job that fell through, people would say "There is something better down the road." I have to be honest, that got super annoying after a while. Mainly because it was really hard for me to believe. Now that I've been at my new job for two months I realize that all of those people were right. They were right because God always promotes to better. It might not always seem better in the moment but it is. I had barely any income for 6 months and I had to go through that trial to realize that when God's timing is right, that He certainly does elevate us.
Anyway this is me returning to writing. Its time to be myself and let walls down. To share my life and not clam up when it gets hard. Please read and be encouraged. Even if you don't want to that's okay. I'm going to be here in one way or another.
So June 4th, was the last time I wrote. At that time, I had begun a study on the fruits of the Holy Spirit inspired by what my children were learning in their Children's Ministry at church. I'll strive to continue that study because I believe it is important to finish and I was inspired after all.
Tonight, however, I'm going to fill everyone in on my life the last four months. I'm going to hit just a couple things because after 4 months my mind has so many thoughts and ideas built up, I can't possibly do all of it justice in one night.
At the beginning of this year, technically on December 31st, I lost my job. I had worked for the company for 7 years even to the point where I was commuting 45 minutes to get there after we had moved farther away. I had grown to love the people and love the work. Although things at the job were not perfect, I was truly hurt when I lost the job. Now to keep from sounding unprofessional, please understand that I know that it wasn't personal, but after all that time and the camaraderie I had developed with my coworkers, it was very sad for me. I get attached to things I care about, its probably why I hold on so tightly. (I just admitted I can be clingy...eek)
The next 6 months were both wonderful and difficult all at the same time. For the first time since I turned 16, the first time since I had children I was not working (excluding maternity leave of course). The change in family life was unbelievable. I had so much time with everyone, I didn't have to request days off, or worry about not being able to do certain things. I could have girls nights with my friends and I could have date nights with my husband. I could literally drop everything and go with no worry about a job. It was great being able to just be with my kids, at times it was really trying because work to a certain degree was a break from home. After the initial adjustment there was a huge part of me that didn't want to go back to work.
Then the bills came, reality hit me pretty hard. As much as I loved being home, it didn't take long for us to realize that unemployment wasn't going to cut it and a difficult tenant situation was costing us more then it was supporting us. It is crazy how in this day and age being a stay at home mom is a difficult thing to do. Not to say that it is bad or beneath me or anything like that. In a financial sense, it has become almost unrealistic, unless your husband makes a lot of money. Now I do understand that good budgeting and cutting coupons etc can help to keep costs down, but let's be honest, when you have 3 or more children who has time for that? (Okay this is me talking from a purely bad time management standpoint). Also as homeowners, car payment holders, and still trying to get out of debt, tax payers the needs are there. In a perfect world I'm sure these things would not exist but in mine, they do.
So here I was looking for jobs. I went to restaurants all over looking for a job that I was qualified for and nothing came of it. Never had I been able to sympathize with the unemployed but now I totally got it. It was so difficult to get a job. Then came the point when it all changed. I simply prayed, Lord I need a job or else. It wasn't like a challenge to God to prove Himself. It was a desperate plea saying Lord you know what's up, so can you do something? So often I'm afraid to pray like that. I assume God already knows and why should I remind Him. Yet, at that point there was a true desperate plea. Similar to how the Israelites were when they were crying out for a saviour. God you have to do something. I know He already knows that but it was a point when I had to say I need a breakthrough. Nothing is happening, I can't make anything happen. Only You can.
So I picked myself up and kept looking. I kept putting the resumes in. Then there was a breakthrough. A new restaurant was opening and I was basically at a place where I had nothing else to lose. I applied and literally 2 hours after I sent the email I got a call from the manager. It was about a month of nail-biting and waiting but when I finally got the call that I had the job I literally jumped up and down like a little girl. It wasn't about being validated or needing a job to feel worth something. It wasn't about getting away from my kids. It was ultimately about the provision of God and His timeliness. It was about lessons learned over 6 months and a season to appreciate all that I had. It was a time to realize that He truly gives and takes away.
Over those six months, after every rejection and every job that fell through, people would say "There is something better down the road." I have to be honest, that got super annoying after a while. Mainly because it was really hard for me to believe. Now that I've been at my new job for two months I realize that all of those people were right. They were right because God always promotes to better. It might not always seem better in the moment but it is. I had barely any income for 6 months and I had to go through that trial to realize that when God's timing is right, that He certainly does elevate us.
Anyway this is me returning to writing. Its time to be myself and let walls down. To share my life and not clam up when it gets hard. Please read and be encouraged. Even if you don't want to that's okay. I'm going to be here in one way or another.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Fruit Study: I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (Galatians 5:22 NIV)
Joy. So often confused with happiness.
Let's face it, everyone in this world is obsessed with happiness. What's going to make me happy? How can I feel good? So the search for it goes on. People strive for money, relationships, and things. Ultimately, all of the things in life can't solidify happiness in one's soul. Happiness is a feeling, it comes and goes. Some things make us feel happy and some things make us feel sad, but the feeling doesn't last. Joy does. If you know Jesus Christ and are filled with the Holy Spirit joy is available for you. It's not just a temporary feeling, it's a deep, powerful fruit that keeps us going through thick and thin, good and bad. Joy is something that the Bible talks a lot about so here are some great verses that explain joy better than I can.
1. Joy comes from knowing Jesus and obeying Him.
2. Joy replaces despair. Happiness can make you feel good for a moment but joy is what replaces sadness, hopelessness, fear, and destruction that we often face in our lives.
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30:11, 12 NIV)
3. Joy brings true worship!
4. Joy is available in trying times!
The difference I find between joy that comes as a fruit of the Spirit and temporal happiness is that Joy is always available to us. No matter what's going on. If we are filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit we will know and understand the joy of The Lord. But if we walk in the flesh and walk in our own way we are constantly going to be bipolar Christians. Feeling happy sometimes but not understanding where true joy comes from. Our feelings will dictate to us our circumstances and not the joy that comes from our salvation and our Lord! Sometimes we lose our joy because we are in the flesh or we have sinned against God and all it takes is for us to get right with Him.
5. Joy of our Salvation
It's a simple prayer. Being right with God makes our joy complete! Living in the spirit sustains it!
6. Joy comes from thanksgiving!
Joy. So often confused with happiness.
Let's face it, everyone in this world is obsessed with happiness. What's going to make me happy? How can I feel good? So the search for it goes on. People strive for money, relationships, and things. Ultimately, all of the things in life can't solidify happiness in one's soul. Happiness is a feeling, it comes and goes. Some things make us feel happy and some things make us feel sad, but the feeling doesn't last. Joy does. If you know Jesus Christ and are filled with the Holy Spirit joy is available for you. It's not just a temporary feeling, it's a deep, powerful fruit that keeps us going through thick and thin, good and bad. Joy is something that the Bible talks a lot about so here are some great verses that explain joy better than I can.
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. (John 15:10, 11 NIV)
1. Joy comes from knowing Jesus and obeying Him.
Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. (Psalm 119:111 NIV)
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. (Psalm 30:11, 12 NIV)
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:19 NIV)
The difference I find between joy that comes as a fruit of the Spirit and temporal happiness is that Joy is always available to us. No matter what's going on. If we are filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit we will know and understand the joy of The Lord. But if we walk in the flesh and walk in our own way we are constantly going to be bipolar Christians. Feeling happy sometimes but not understanding where true joy comes from. Our feelings will dictate to us our circumstances and not the joy that comes from our salvation and our Lord! Sometimes we lose our joy because we are in the flesh or we have sinned against God and all it takes is for us to get right with Him.
5. Joy of our Salvation
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:12 NIV)
6. Joy comes from thanksgiving!
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
When right now seems difficult and time seems tough sometimes joy will rise when we simply think about all He's done for us. Then allow thanksgiving to come out of our very souls. Joy is available to you today! Your life by the world's standards might not be perfect, it might not be "happy" but you can have all the joy you can handle if you just tap into the Holy Spirit and allow Him to fill you up!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Fruit Study: What's Love Got To Do With It
So last week, I did a short introduction to this Bible Study. I want to open up discussion, to open the Word of God, and to find what it means to live in the Spirit. Lets start by looking at the Scripture we are studying. Galations 5:19-26
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 2o Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
We live in a world that is pretty well described in the first three verses of this passage. Its pretty easy to identify these different "flesh acts" in our world today. Sometimes, its overwhelming because its feels like everywhere we turn one of these is on display. So what is the alternative?
We have been called out of the world. As soon as you commit yourself to Jesus you become aware of your spirit. Rebirth. It was once dead but now has come alive with the knowledge of Jesus and the truth of Salvation. So the battle begins, you are still flesh, you are still human. Now, having been reborn you start a process to be transformed every day. You see, you are no longer apart of the group described in the first 3 verses. You have been redeemed.
It's fitting that Love is the first fruit on the list. Let's be honest, love is nonexistent these days. Not real love anyway. The divorce rate, combined with child neglect, selfishness and the list goes on is proof that we live in a cold world. Love comes at a price with most people. If it or they don't make me happy then I'm out. I'm not just talking about relationships here people, I'm talking about overall attitude and culture. Love is not about what we do for others anymore or show others anymore, its about what makes us happy.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. :
Matthew 24:12
This pretty much describes the current state of affairs we find ourselves in. Let's really quickly refer to 1 Corinthians 13. What love really is.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Love is the beginning. It is the first fruit because out of it flows everything. Love doesn't think about itself, ever. It is NEVER about you.
Now when the Word talks about fruit it is describing an outward evidence of what the Holy Spirit is doing in you. Love like this isn't something that comes naturally. Humans of course have an enormous ability to love and give love. Often our desire to satisfy ourselves trumps the potential in us to give unconditional love.God created in us this ability to love like this. So doesn't it make sense that knowing Him and being filled with His Holy Spirit is the only way to show the its fullness in our lives?
So there is the missing link. Know God, know love.
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:7-10
Often, we use Jesus' ultimate sacrifice to describe the fullness of love. We need to be living sacrifices, choosing to know God everyday. Allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us to love at all times.
The world often tells you to take care of yourself, love yourself, make sure you are okay first. In reality shouldn't we be allowing God to take care of us, to love us, to make sure we are okay? Shouldn't we trust Him to keep us? If we do that I think we can start understanding how to produce love. Allow the Holy Spirit to confront the areas in your life where you may be putting yourself first. Allow yourself to know God in a way that will help you understand what love really is and how to produce it in your life.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Something New
For the next couple weeks I'm going to try something new. I love God and I love the Bible. I love to observe my world. I love to apply the word of God to the reality of the world around me. So for the next several weeks I'm going to do a series. I am simply going to compare the fruits of the spirit to the fruits of the world. I encourage you to follow me and invite others to follow me as well. I want to do this study and show readers that there are pretty clear differences.
What has brought this on is an observation of the clear choices people have to make on a daily basis in their lives. I have choices to make every moment. Choices to make in my attitudes, in my actions, and in my habits. I have the opportunity to make life altering choices every moment and I want to make the right ones. So today I'm going to leave you with the introduction to the passage we will be looking at.
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. Galatians 5:16,17
Stay tuned because next week we are discussing LOVE! That's the first one. I'm really excited about it.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Hungry and Thirsty
Today, I was thinking about how it feels when I don't spend time reading the Bible or Praying. It gave me my idea for this weeks blog.
You see, there was a time in my life where I could go without reading the Bible and praying. GASP! I know, it seems kind of crazy to say. It started in Bible college where I was so immersed in Bible study, and chapel services that I found it easy to put personal time with God on the back burner. I got out of the habit and then struggled with it for years after. I was constantly praying and asking God to forgive me for not praying and not reading. It had become legalistic in my mind and I felt guilty about it a lot. I made up all kinds of excuses. I have no time. I'm to tired or to busy. At the end of the day, I would feel so guilty and have no desire to even try to spend time with God.
I began to feel really far away, really empty. I knew why, but I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I was never going to get it right. I would say I was going to do it and be good for a couple weeks. Then my schedule would throw me off and then I was back where I started. I was frustrated and feeling guilty.
Then something changed. I'll explain in a moment, but first I want to say that I just started really simple. I got an iphone. What does that have to do with a devotional and prayer life you ask? Well, I got a Bible app on my phone and it would remind me to read my Bible everyday. It was like an electronic accountability partner. My phone would beep at me and I would be reminded. I didn't do it everyday at first, but over time I began to feel it when I hadn't done it. I felt...hungry.
The emptiness that I had for the years that I had neglected to make time for the Lord was being filled. My malnourished soul was day by day being replenished. I was hearing from God, I was learning more about Him. All alone, I had formed opinions about God and what He thought of me based on partial knowledge, not the truth of His word. He was showing me who He really was and opening my eyes to see truth. The crazy part was, I had allowed myself to become anorexic in my relationship with God. When I started to read His word consistently and pray I did it in small amounts. Almost like a baby drinking milk. I was at the beginning again.
Today, my Bible app still helps me, but rarely do I go a day without spending time with God. The reason why is because I literally feel hungry and thirsty. I'll get to the end of my day and if I haven't read or prayed, I feel it. It comes down to this. It is about connecting with God himself. When I was young, I had deep meaningful experiences with God that solidified my hope and my faith in His truth. Those experiences were like a really expensive meal that I couldn't possibly pay for everyday. Example, when Bill and I were on our honeymoon, we had a 5 course meal at a very expensive restaurant. I mean like 100 dollars a plate, harp player in the background, Bill had to wear a suit jacket, and me an evening dress. It was no joke. There is no way we could have paid for a meal like that every day. It's the same with God, He gives us amazing once in a lifetime experiences with Him but that doesn't keep us connected. We have to eat everyday. We have to drink everyday.
There is no special formula and in truth, I started by taking 5 minutes a day. Now I can't go a day without thinking about it. I can't go a day without feeling my need for God. I can't go a day without praying. I used to think I could go a day without and maybe I could, but the key to my devotional life now is, I don't want to go a day without Him. I want to know Him more, know His word, and know His spirit is with me when I pray.
I challenge those who take time to read my blog, if there is anything you can do for yourself, for your walk with God it's take the time for Him. It doesn't matter where you start, it doesn't matter how you failed in the past, there is no right way. Its just a choice to get that app, pick up that Bible, or go to that Bible study. Your soul needs Him, you are hungry and thirsty. Feed your self!
John 4:13,14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst."
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.
*If you don't know where to start on your spiritual diet I suggest reading plans on your Bible app. Often it's the 'Where do I begin' question that stumps us.
You see, there was a time in my life where I could go without reading the Bible and praying. GASP! I know, it seems kind of crazy to say. It started in Bible college where I was so immersed in Bible study, and chapel services that I found it easy to put personal time with God on the back burner. I got out of the habit and then struggled with it for years after. I was constantly praying and asking God to forgive me for not praying and not reading. It had become legalistic in my mind and I felt guilty about it a lot. I made up all kinds of excuses. I have no time. I'm to tired or to busy. At the end of the day, I would feel so guilty and have no desire to even try to spend time with God.
I began to feel really far away, really empty. I knew why, but I was afraid I was going to fail. I was afraid I was never going to get it right. I would say I was going to do it and be good for a couple weeks. Then my schedule would throw me off and then I was back where I started. I was frustrated and feeling guilty.
Then something changed. I'll explain in a moment, but first I want to say that I just started really simple. I got an iphone. What does that have to do with a devotional and prayer life you ask? Well, I got a Bible app on my phone and it would remind me to read my Bible everyday. It was like an electronic accountability partner. My phone would beep at me and I would be reminded. I didn't do it everyday at first, but over time I began to feel it when I hadn't done it. I felt...hungry.
The emptiness that I had for the years that I had neglected to make time for the Lord was being filled. My malnourished soul was day by day being replenished. I was hearing from God, I was learning more about Him. All alone, I had formed opinions about God and what He thought of me based on partial knowledge, not the truth of His word. He was showing me who He really was and opening my eyes to see truth. The crazy part was, I had allowed myself to become anorexic in my relationship with God. When I started to read His word consistently and pray I did it in small amounts. Almost like a baby drinking milk. I was at the beginning again.
Today, my Bible app still helps me, but rarely do I go a day without spending time with God. The reason why is because I literally feel hungry and thirsty. I'll get to the end of my day and if I haven't read or prayed, I feel it. It comes down to this. It is about connecting with God himself. When I was young, I had deep meaningful experiences with God that solidified my hope and my faith in His truth. Those experiences were like a really expensive meal that I couldn't possibly pay for everyday. Example, when Bill and I were on our honeymoon, we had a 5 course meal at a very expensive restaurant. I mean like 100 dollars a plate, harp player in the background, Bill had to wear a suit jacket, and me an evening dress. It was no joke. There is no way we could have paid for a meal like that every day. It's the same with God, He gives us amazing once in a lifetime experiences with Him but that doesn't keep us connected. We have to eat everyday. We have to drink everyday.
There is no special formula and in truth, I started by taking 5 minutes a day. Now I can't go a day without thinking about it. I can't go a day without feeling my need for God. I can't go a day without praying. I used to think I could go a day without and maybe I could, but the key to my devotional life now is, I don't want to go a day without Him. I want to know Him more, know His word, and know His spirit is with me when I pray.
I challenge those who take time to read my blog, if there is anything you can do for yourself, for your walk with God it's take the time for Him. It doesn't matter where you start, it doesn't matter how you failed in the past, there is no right way. Its just a choice to get that app, pick up that Bible, or go to that Bible study. Your soul needs Him, you are hungry and thirsty. Feed your self!
John 4:13,14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst."
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.
*If you don't know where to start on your spiritual diet I suggest reading plans on your Bible app. Often it's the 'Where do I begin' question that stumps us.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Testimony Turmoil
I was born into a Pastor's home. My parents loved me. They strived to show me who Jesus was and to teach me how to follow Him. I was 7 years old when I gave my heart to Jesus. That is when I really remember the change that God made in my life. Although, I may have excepted Him sooner, I remember being 7 and responding to an altar call when an evangelist visited our church. From that time on, although I was just a child, I was always hungry for God. My life was embroiled in all things church. I was literally there whenever the doors were open. I was in girls programs, choirs, and church plays. I loved it. I learned to play the piano very young and started lessons when I was 5 years old. I loved to sing and worship God. As I grew older, I had many experiences that solidified my faith and relationship with God. I went to a girls ministry retreat or a Powette (that's what they called it in the 80's) and there I was filled with the Holy Spirit. My heart was always open to God. I always wanted to do right. The fledgling teen years came upon me and my family made a pretty significant move. We were in a much smaller town and had gone from a more urban community to an upper class suburban town. The ministry there was hard. My parents went through a lot. Still, I wanted to serve God. My parents were very good at protecting us from the difficulties of what they were going through, while being very real with us at home. They were not one way in church and one way at home. They loved us in both environments and expected the same from us in both places. I will always be eternally grateful for this. It was in this loving environment, that my faith and love for Christ was born. I was able to see the goodness and love of God. It was much easier to accept Christ and the truth of the gospel in my home. It was in my own personal devotions, at a young age, that God spoke to me about going into ministry. However in my teen years, I fought it. I thought about doing other things and pursuing other career options. It was after a difficult church situation, that my parents left the ministry they were in and started attending another church. While there, the Church hired a youth pastor. It was under his ministry, that I was able to learn how to have a deeper relationship with Christ. The discipleship at this point in my life, helped me to make the ultimate decision to go to Bible College and pursue God's call on my life. God has been good to me. He protected me from a lot and He showed me His goodness at a very young age. It is because of this that I don't think I could ever turn away. There have been hi's and lows in my life. After Bible College and into marraige and ministry. I have faced many things. If it wasn't for the faith of my youth, I don't think I would be the person I am today or be able to live the life I have.
For years I have always looked down on my testimony. I think that often in the church a good testimony has been revered and praised. Look what God has done! Look how far they have come! Look what God saved them from! I have always felt inadequate.
Now many of you may say, why do you look down on your testimony. The simple answer is that I have always felt like it would be irrelevant to reaching people. I'm in the ministry, I'm supposed to relate to people and be able to be understanding, and yet I don't have a way to do that. Getting right down to it, my testimony is not common, its uncommon. Not many people have had what I had. I don't say this in a proud way, I just realize that many people have experienced so much more than I have whether by choice or not by choice.
Fast forward to today. A little over a week ago we took our students to our yearly convention. While there, I offered all of my insecurities to God. Simply saying, Lord I feel inadequate, like I don't have anything to offer. I instantaneously sensed the Lord saying to me, You need to love people like I would love them. There is a common thought today in the church that in order to reach people you have to have experienced what they have in order to understand them. This is a lie. A lie I listened to. I, just like everyone else who is a Christian, have been saved by the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have been shown the love of God and have experienced His deliverance. It happened differently for me then others. However, everyone has a story. What I have to offer is myself as a lover of God. Then in turn love others. That is what the Bible commands us to do. To Love Him and love others. He has given me the ability to show His amazing love to others. Wow! It is so awesome that I can do that. It is so awesome that I can share this precious gift. It doesn't matter where I came from it just matters what I have to give and that is His Love.
I have been freed from the notion that I had to live a rough past in order to reach people. I can be myself and reach others. Today, if anyone who reads this needs prayer or needs encouragement, please know that I love you and am willing to pray for you. Lastly, my question for you is this. What is your God story? What has He brought you from and where is He taking you? Be Blessed today!
For years I have always looked down on my testimony. I think that often in the church a good testimony has been revered and praised. Look what God has done! Look how far they have come! Look what God saved them from! I have always felt inadequate.
Now many of you may say, why do you look down on your testimony. The simple answer is that I have always felt like it would be irrelevant to reaching people. I'm in the ministry, I'm supposed to relate to people and be able to be understanding, and yet I don't have a way to do that. Getting right down to it, my testimony is not common, its uncommon. Not many people have had what I had. I don't say this in a proud way, I just realize that many people have experienced so much more than I have whether by choice or not by choice.
Fast forward to today. A little over a week ago we took our students to our yearly convention. While there, I offered all of my insecurities to God. Simply saying, Lord I feel inadequate, like I don't have anything to offer. I instantaneously sensed the Lord saying to me, You need to love people like I would love them. There is a common thought today in the church that in order to reach people you have to have experienced what they have in order to understand them. This is a lie. A lie I listened to. I, just like everyone else who is a Christian, have been saved by the precious sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have been shown the love of God and have experienced His deliverance. It happened differently for me then others. However, everyone has a story. What I have to offer is myself as a lover of God. Then in turn love others. That is what the Bible commands us to do. To Love Him and love others. He has given me the ability to show His amazing love to others. Wow! It is so awesome that I can do that. It is so awesome that I can share this precious gift. It doesn't matter where I came from it just matters what I have to give and that is His Love.
I have been freed from the notion that I had to live a rough past in order to reach people. I can be myself and reach others. Today, if anyone who reads this needs prayer or needs encouragement, please know that I love you and am willing to pray for you. Lastly, my question for you is this. What is your God story? What has He brought you from and where is He taking you? Be Blessed today!
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